Please Drink Responsibly
Three friends that are here to educate you about the world of beverage in an inviting and easy to listen to way. Without taking ourselves too seriously we also aim to inform the listener about very interesting spirits and liquors, all while drinking them down... responsibly of course.
Please Drink Responsibly
Ep. 121 | Tequila Tickles and Godzilla Giggles
Ask us anything, we know it all!
Ever wondered if tequila could tickle your tastebuds like a sugar cookie? We embarked on a flavorful journey of spirits, from the unexpected to the exquisitely aged, and yes, we're pouring you a virtual glass. Our conversation meanders from generous tipping tales at work to the vibrant notes of Etna Bianco, weaving in the quirks of neighborhood life and the joy of themed birthday bashes. Kick back with us as we reminisce about those nostalgic childhood parties, each one a trip down memory lane, complete with a nod to the beloved Steve from Blue's Clues.
As we geek out over a custom Godzilla PC build, you'll feel the reverberations of our monster-sized enthusiasm. We dissect the latest Godzilla flick, balancing critique with our adoration for the genre, and dive into the inventive world of comics, from heist capers in the gut of a kaiju to the pandemonium of "Eight Billion Genies" where everyone's wishes come true. We then pivot to laugh about Shaq Fu's legendary status and the peculiar nuances of gaming language etiquette, all while touching on the more sensitive matters of body image with our trademark irreverence.
Late into the night, our chat takes on the character of a candid fireside conversation among friends. At times whimsical and others philosophical, we explore personal motivations and the quirky alarms that signal the start of our days. We even dabble into the foot fetish community's niche requests, not shying away from a humorous take on unconventional attractions. So refill your cup or pour another dram, and join us for this rollercoaster of laughs, insights, and the kind of banter that keeps you coming back for more.
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Welcome to you. Got Mail the manliest podcast on the internet.
Speaker 3:That was really good man, that was really good. That sent chills down my spine. Baby, Welcome to you. Got Mail, the manliest podcast on the internet. We're here. We're clear, we're going to drink some wine.
Speaker 2:I heard that from your stomach.
Speaker 1:I haven't eaten much today.
Speaker 2:I haven't eaten at all today.
Speaker 1:Except for those crackers.
Speaker 2:Except for I took a bite of arancini and I drank some tequila. You worked today, huh. I drank Como's tequila.
Speaker 1:Was it good? It was really good. So they were all Añejos, spelled with a K, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:You've seen the bottles too, yeah.
Speaker 1:I've heard of this.
Speaker 2:We're bringing on one of the Añejos. They're all Cristalino Añejo or Extra Añejo. They're pretty good. Everything's super premium, though, so the cheapest bottle, I think, was like $300.
Speaker 1:Smells like a Riesling. Well, yeah, I've seen that stuff.
Speaker 2:This is actually my second time tasting them. They already came in and let me taste them all before and now I taste them all again. But we tasted this Rosado, which is like a tequila that they age in red wine barrels. They didn't tell me what kind of red wine. When I asked, they said I don't know red don't plug.
Speaker 1:How do you not know your own product?
Speaker 2:uh, there was a reserva and then there was one that was like in the navy blue bottle and he was like it kind of tastes like a cookie a little bit and I, I ate it. And it was like, or I ate it, I drank it. And I was like it kind of tastes like a cookie a little bit and I, I ate it. And it was like, or I ate it, I drank it and I was like, holy shit, that does taste like cookies, tastes like sugar cookies okay.
Speaker 1:So I was gonna ask like what kind of cookie? Yeah, like sugar cookies okay, it's really good hell yeah, dude so yeah.
Speaker 2:and then I was i't eaten and I was just drinking pretty expensive tequila, and so I got a little schwifty at work today. Oh yeah, dude. And then I was like, eh, let's just start giving away shit for free. And then people from my mixology course or whatever they came in and they're like hey, did you take the class at southern? And I was like, yeah, and they're like I was there and I was like oh shit, that's what's up, nice.
Speaker 2:And one of them was the, that lady who owned the business that gave us all the free bags full of yeah yeah she just, she just tipped me like 60 bucks in ones and I'm like did? Did your business fail and now you're a stripper? Because if so good for you Is she hot enough to be a stripper?
Speaker 1:Is she ugly enough to be a stripper? Hot enough? Okay, cool, it's one of the two always.
Speaker 2:She won Miss Nevada, like four years ago.
Speaker 1:Oh, so she's banging? Yeah, she's hot.
Speaker 2:She's like Russian or something. She's hot Good for her.
Speaker 1:And she's like Russian or something she's got an accent on her Eastern European.
Speaker 2:Nice Very good, Nice Zach what are we drinking?
Speaker 3:You guys remember Etna Rosso, that we tried that one time. Yeah, well, this is from the same producer, but it's their Etna Bianco, so it's their etna bianco. So it's uh, it's their white as opposed to their red. Um, let me look at the grape name one more time, because I don't really know.
Speaker 2:Would you compare this to like?
Speaker 3:it does taste like a little bit, but it is green, apple-y, like a reed, like a riesling, it is more like it's caracante a 100%.
Speaker 2:More like Caracante.
Speaker 1:Come on, come on.
Speaker 3:Good shit, yeah. So it's that grape. Never heard of it before, neither have I.
Speaker 2:Well, you should know what that grape is. Dude, You're a psalm now.
Speaker 1:Did you know?
Speaker 3:that there's like 3,800 grape varieties that are native to Italy.
Speaker 1:We carry one of these winemakers' wines at Norris. Edna Rosso, I've seen this Is it, edna Rosso.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we keep that by the glass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've seen that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but we do the red.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Edna Bianco, this is pretty good.
Speaker 1:I like this a lot. Actually we carry a couple I think we carry two Edna Biancos by the bottle at Norris.
Speaker 2:I'd like this with like a nice arugula salad.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that could be nice.
Speaker 2:With some yellowtail carpaccio or maybe, yeah, something with some tangerines.
Speaker 1:Yeah, with like a orange and pomegranate glaze.
Speaker 2:This would be nice.
Speaker 1:This is nice, this is real nice.
Speaker 2:I would drink this at like a picnic, or if I'm going to a play in the park, or before I murder my neighbors. Or before I murder Norm's neighbors, yeah. Or before I murder Zach's neighbors, uh. Or before I murdered zach's neighbors, stole my goddamn panda express bro, motherfucker made me move my car just now because I was parked in front of their driveway audacity.
Speaker 1:Rude, you're lucky I didn't park in your driveway.
Speaker 3:That would have been so funny she totally uh, didn't like I didn't even like have an interaction with her whatsoever. I just like went outside because for some reason I thought your dad was was here and when I opened the door I looked over and she's turning in and then she just stops halfway through the turn and I know she parks on like the side.
Speaker 3:That was like mostly blocked and I was like, is she gonna squeeze in? And then she backed up and started backing up and I was like I she gonna squeeze in. And then she backed up and started backing up and I was like I'm gonna go get keegan to move his car. I feel bad. I don't really know these neighbors like that.
Speaker 2:But you you try and keep in good graces and neighbors the most you can so that you know I don't know, mine just moved out next to me, but I also live in an apartment complex, so like, who gives a fuck about those neighbors?
Speaker 3:They be rotating frequently.
Speaker 2:Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 3:But I suppose these people next to us as well are renters Are they. Yeah, fuck them Both people.
Speaker 2:Literally have sex with both of them. Yeah, dude, invite them over for an orgy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're the only people in this three stack right here.
Speaker 2:Paint your door green and you can be the green door. That's where people go to fuck.
Speaker 1:You guys ever seen that movie with Pauly Shore, the green door? No, oh Jersey Shore they have like a dinner party or something, but it turns into an orgy at the very end.
Speaker 2:Are we thinking about?
Speaker 1:It's a newer movie that was on Hulu.
Speaker 2:Oh, never mind then.
Speaker 3:Taken.
Speaker 2:You're thinking of Taken with?
Speaker 3:William Neeson.
Speaker 2:You're right.
Speaker 1:Not Pauly Shore An airplane instead of a dinner party and he's trying to find his daughter. They're not having sex. That's my fault, yeah, taken.
Speaker 2:So close. I'm sorry you're thinking of Shrek. So, noam, you got us some more pack-a-lots.
Speaker 1:Yeah, pokemon cards, zach, that one's yours. You got Iron Valiant. What's the?
Speaker 2:Oh, is this the.
Speaker 1:This is Paradox.
Speaker 2:Rift, so Charizard is the chase.
Speaker 1:No Paradox Rift, it is Fuck.
Speaker 2:I think it's the guard chomps.
Speaker 1:No, oh the guard chomps might be the most expensive cards in here, trying to think because the charizard is obsidian flames, so I forget what's paradox. Paradox, it might be the guard chomp. I forget what the I can look real quick though. While you guys get those open, let me take a gander, let me take a booster, gander, gaster, booster. Scarlet and Violet Paradox Rift Go all the way to the bottom.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to do any special shit. If you're watching at home, here's the code.
Speaker 1:Oh, there are some really cool cards in here. Yeah, there's a really cool Garchomp. There's a lot of cool cards in here. There's a Goldango and a Gimmie Ghoul in here. There's some pretty cool cards. There's an Armourouge. There's the Loudred that I have in Japanese in there.
Speaker 2:Oh, I want that. Hey, if you pull the Loudred, I want it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a garbodor. There's a minor it's pretty cool. A grout on, that's pretty cool. A blitzel, that's pretty cool. Wimpod, that's pretty cool. Oh, a toad's cool, that's really cool. I have this magby card already I didn't get jack.
Speaker 2:Did zach get some? No, zach, you got a yvelt, but no, you didn't get anything. You want, you want full arts. You'll know when you pull something cool. So if you're not sure, you're like then, you didn't, you didn't, it's OK. Oh for two. Oh for two. Last week I didn't get shit. Maybe this gas station just fucking sucks, dude. They don't have the heat, because I think we've pulled cards from this gas station probably like five or six times now and I don't think we've ever gotten anything from it. Yeah, mewtwo EX, that's fucking. Fuck this. Fuck this, these three packs that we got Fucking dog shit.
Speaker 1:Let's go give these cards to our endeared kid-necked store neighbors.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's be like hey, you want to get in my Subaru, hey, you want some.
Speaker 1:Pokemon cards.
Speaker 2:I got free Pokemon cards and a puppy in my Subaru.
Speaker 1:Hey, you want some Pokemon cards? I'll take you away forever.
Speaker 2:What's crazy is, I do have free Pokemon cards and a puppy in my Subaru. Holy shit.
Speaker 1:Windows up and I'm not even a child predator.
Speaker 2:I know you want to get in my car.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm going to touch you.
Speaker 1:Don't touch you. How do you guys think this wine would pair with a splash of Red Bull? Yeah, a little Juneberry. I'm not going to do it. Did you say a little Juneberry? Yeah, a little Juneberry. That's what it's called, man Juneberry. Something about that Racist A little bit right? You ever see that video of the dude who whips?
Speaker 3:stuff that's his content.
Speaker 2:Hey, get over here, you little Juneberry, stop. I didn't say anything racist.
Speaker 1:But you've seen that video of the guy who, like he like, whips stuff like that's his whole content. And then during february he whipped the grape soda, and someone's like grape soda seems like a choice that dude is crazy with a whip. Dude yeah, that's pretty wild. What if I could be whipping? Why do you have an awesome citation on your pc, zach? Because he's awesome someone charged for it. Someone was like yo this pc's so cool. I'm gonna write you a citation.
Speaker 2:I'm not going back to jail pulls out his gun.
Speaker 1:You should get a. You know it would go really cool with that awesome citation. You should get a fake boot for your pc. So like, yeah, like a car boot, but it for a PC.
Speaker 3:But it doesn't have wheels.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, that's why it'd be funny, you fucking dumbass.
Speaker 2:Just break the glass and have it going halfway through the case.
Speaker 3:That'd also be pretty funny. I just think it would have to have wheels to be funny.
Speaker 1:Did you guys see that Godzilla PC build? So it was a whole landscape and they had Godzilla and stuff on it, and then in this broken-down warehouse is where they housed the PC. It looked hella fucking cool. Huh, it was dope dude. I did go see the new Godzilla movie. Yeah, it was a fire. Jacob won't shut up about it. Gojira.
Speaker 2:I think Minus One really ruined all other godzilla movies for me, because minus one shows me how good the movies can be and I like, but as just like, uh, good as, yeah, that's what I'm saying okay, it's good for what godzilla is. This is back to like what godzilla is. It's like the story is corny and who gives a fuck? It's very surface, it's just about king kong with a mechanical arm.
Speaker 2:I mean it's it's more it's more it's about you know they? They have people and the people have a story, and the story of the people is, um, fuck them people. Yeah, and I don't give a shit. They found like a little, uh, aborigine girl from the iwi island of, or from skull island, and there she belongs to this tribe called the E-Wees and she's like the last one left and, of course, she's the missing link to whatever, to Kong. So they go into the hollow earth, which is like that middle area where all the monsters live, and then Kong beats the shit out of a bunch of things. Honestly, kong gets his ass beat throughout most of the movie.
Speaker 2:It's pretty cool every time he like rolls up on somebody like he beats ass too, but then he always gets a little in over his head oh yeah, dude, he beats ass and uh, and then gets his ass beat and then he runs back up to earth and he's like, hey, godzilla help me, and godzilla's like you know, and then they, they go and beat ass together or whatever that's pretty sick, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love good fights, as long as the fights are good.
Speaker 2:I mean I'm gonna, I'll spoil it for you. But there's this one really cool scene where they basically like turn off the gravity and Godzilla and King Kong and the two main villains, they're all fighting in the middle of just like just floating around, beating the shit out of each other.
Speaker 3:That's pretty cool.
Speaker 2:That was pretty cool. Yeah, that was each other, that was pretty cool. Yeah, that was pretty cool. But other than that, like movie wise, it's back to being like corny godzilla type movies, yeah well.
Speaker 1:So I'm sure I mean they might make another one like minus one, but they'll probably keep this storyline of just like mindless godzilla fights as they should, because that's what godzilla is about, yeah, but then you watch giant monsters fighting, you watch minus one.
Speaker 2:You're like, oh shit, this is just a.
Speaker 1:This is actually a good movie, you know I hope they turn in a movie or tv show that comic we were reading the kaiju who's it called? Uh kaiju heist kaiju score or something, yeah, where they dude that comic book was sick, so kaiju score and zach because I know you're curious is a comic book.
Speaker 2:was sick, so Kaiju Score and Zack because I know you're curious is a comic book series where these giant monsters eat, like well, yeah, there's giant monsters, right, and they like ate them. That have been around forever, forever and I think most of them have gone extinct at this point.
Speaker 1:So the one that's left is sleep. He's like he's been asleep for like hundreds of thousands of years or some shit. Yeah, and then some really rich guys like I know there's treasure inside of them.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna go get it he like swallowed a ship that went missing and that ship had a lot of treasure on it, so the they put together a heist like oceans 11 style heist, with all these different people there's like the getaway driver and the hacker and whatever, and they're're like yep, we're gonna go dive down this monster's throat and get all the treasure and dip and that's a pretty. I never finished that series. I think it's only like five issues, though I mean they made.
Speaker 1:I think there's a second run. Yeah, maybe I don't remember, though because I stopped reading.
Speaker 2:I want them to turn eight billion genies into a. That'd be far too. They should do an animated series out of that. That'd be far and zach. Eight billion genies because I know you're curious is this comic book series where everybody in the world gets a genie at the same exact time, the same they all pop up at the same time and everybody gets one wish.
Speaker 1:You can use it whenever you want, however you want, but you get one wish.
Speaker 2:So like uh it's only eight episodes or eight issues, and issue one is like the first eight minutes and then the second issue is like the first eight hours and then the third issue is like the first eight days yeah and then it's the first eight years and then, like the first eight decades and some people are still holding on to their genies for like decades, because they're like I don't know what I'm gonna need this wish, but the first eight hour or eight minutes are like crazy, because there's just people like I wish that this part of the world was made of lava. Yeah, there's people that just get their genie and they're like. I wish I was the strongest person in the universe type shit.
Speaker 1:And then you find out like halfway through the first episode that the genies are just like yeah, we grant the wishes as long as they're like entertaining to us. Yeah, like oh, okay, they're like, we won't grant it if it's something like like there's limitations but only the genies apply the limitations. But they're like as long as it seems entertaining, I'll grant the wish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, as long as it's like, that's what I would be as a genie. They're like we're not trying to be dickheads. We know what you mean when. Yeah, we just want to have fun, we just want you to, you know, have a little fun with it. And they just watch the world devolve into chaos and they're like I wonder who's gonna save this planet type shit.
Speaker 1:So yeah, because the main wolf like one of the main characters, one of the genies no, he could be there, he could be in the movie when they make the movie.
Speaker 3:I don't really want to watch it, unless.
Speaker 1:Shaq's Okay, I'll talk to them. I'll talk to them.
Speaker 2:Wow you got pulling, yeah I know, the guys.
Speaker 3:I only really want to be involved if Shaq's involved.
Speaker 1:I bought a Shaq. You should hit DM Shaq and ask to open for him his next DJ set For real you mean DJ Diesel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dj Shaq, dj Diesel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dj Sack, diesel, dj Big.
Speaker 2:Diesel. Ask him if he wants to open for you actually yeah Be like hey, Sack, I'm pretty big, Open for me.
Speaker 1:I'm not as big as you, though, because you're fucking seven foot three. You want to open for me, you fucking huge. You want to open your mouth so I can spit in it, Sack.
Speaker 3:Large, freaking man.
Speaker 2:I bought Shaq Fu on the Nintendo Switch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he did. That's a pretty cool game. It's pretty fire.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's Shaq, fu it's a beat-em-up.
Speaker 1:It's like a 2D beat-em-up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a side-scroller, it's like fucking.
Speaker 1:Streets of Rage, but you're.
Speaker 2:Shaq.
Speaker 1:Dude, I would beat off so many dicks.
Speaker 2:Or like the Ninja Turtle game, but you're Shaq from Silicon Valley.
Speaker 1:Have you seen the scene from Silicon Valley where it's TJ Miller actually breaking down how many dicks he could beat off in like an hour? Yeah.
Speaker 2:They were getting ready for a presentation or something. And he goes well, how many dicks could you beat off in an hour? And they go alright. Well, let's say you can jerk off four dudes at a time, yeah dude, that shit's so fucking funny. And then him and his whole team just get down behind all the math. They're like I could beat off everyone in this room and I know exactly how long it would take.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that shit's so funny, dude, Silicon Valley. I need to finish that show. I started it, I just never finished it.
Speaker 2:Oh, I was gonna say, I was like I thought they finished it?
Speaker 1:No, they did.
Speaker 3:I didn't know they finished it years ago. I don't think I finished it either. Yeah, it's so good, though first really good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was pretty funny yeah, it was pretty funny show. Big fan of uh thomas middle ditch yeah, dude, and tj miller and tj miller. But tj miller, I think, got canceled and now he's back I'm cool with it if I didn't hear about it. You're cool he only got cancelled because he was being a dick to everyone he worked with.
Speaker 1:That's not with me. That's me at my job.
Speaker 2:A dick in the way that TJ Miller was just being a funny asshole type deal. But everyone was like, no, you're just an asshole which maybe he was, but who knows? Do you have attachments to this bottle or can I have some more? No, you can have more. Cool Zach said I could have more.
Speaker 1:By the way, for those of you who didn't hear yeah, we're about to go drink some sake and eat some fish.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you better be careful there, Keegan. I heard Campo's setting up a plot against you.
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bro.
Speaker 3:What do you mean? He like fucking he doesn't even want me to come. He was like dude, I'm gonna get keegan, so did he say yeah, dude, I was like all right cool why just keegan? I don't know, man, that's so weird okay, this is coming for you.
Speaker 2:Apparently, dude, he didn't say any of this to me he's like I'm gonna get fucking knows you'd let me know?
Speaker 3:yeah, probably he was like I'm gonna get keegan fucking piss drunk dude. Like I was like all right dude I'm scared.
Speaker 1:Keegan fucking piss drunk dude, like all right dude. I'm skewed Dude. I forgot I was supposed to grab my bonsai pills before I left the house. Those things are fucking miracle workers.
Speaker 2:Bonsai.
Speaker 1:They're the Japanese super drug that you take before you drink and then you wake up the next day without a hangover. I took that on Easter and I woke up the day after and I was like I feel amazing. Well, did you drink a?
Speaker 2:lot. I drank a decent amount. I drank enough Because I woke up the next day and felt fine as well.
Speaker 1:I drank enough, because even after we left, I had shotgunned the beer at the fair thing and then we left and then I had another beer at Me, mano and Chris's. Stop for food real quick. Yeah, yeah, to stop for food real quick. Yeah, yeah, so, but I already had like four or five beers and like three or four shots.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we went, we went.
Speaker 1:We did all right, yeah, we did all right. Easter the day to drink Jesus back to life. As long as it's wine, I drank all of his blood.
Speaker 3:Widowy, widowy, bottom he is wizened Widowy Widowy Bottom. He is wizin Widowy. You see that thing, he's like he's wizin.
Speaker 1:He's widowy wizin. So dumb dude. Yeah brother, so fucking dumb brother.
Speaker 2:Zach, how was your Easter?
Speaker 3:It was fucking chill yeah.
Speaker 1:You had a work day, you worked. Huh, yeah, I did, I was super slow.
Speaker 3:And filled with lots of foreigners and super slow. Not that foreigners are bad.
Speaker 1:I was going to say don't foreigners still celebrate Easter too, though Depends on what kind of foreigners?
Speaker 3:Yeah, if they're a Christian thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah If they're Branzino people, then no, yeah, if they're.
Speaker 3:Branzino people? Then no, I wonder if Catholics Do. Catholics celebrate Easter, yeah.
Speaker 1:Do Jews celebrate Easter? No, why not? Aren't they the Jesus people? No, they don't believe Jesus is the Messiah. Oh they're the anti-Jesus people.
Speaker 2:Well, they're not. They're like fuck Jesus Christ, no people. Well they're not. They're like fuck Jesus Christ, no, they believe that Jesus was a person, but they don't believe that he's the son of God. They don't believe he's the son of God. They just think he was some carpenter guy. They just think he was a guy who could do a lot of miracles. They think he's like a prophet, like everybody else, like the other twelve disciples, basically, but they don't think he's the son of jesus christ.
Speaker 2:They're like, yeah, he did some cool stuff while he was here, but like he's not our messiah, I love you, jesus, they're still waiting for their messiah. Respect Catholics, those are just Christians with extra rules. Mormons, they do. They do Easter Baptists, lutherans, all them Easter, easter Muslims no, easter no comment.
Speaker 1:No, what you got. No, good, all right, I'm gonna save it. No, but yeah, me and Keegan are gonna go eat a bunch of nice sushi made by a. No comment. No, what you got. No, I'm good. All right, I'm going to save it. No, but yeah, me and Keegan are going to go eat a bunch of nice sushi made by a celebrity chef. Well, he's not a celebrity, but he's a guest chef. He's very well known for sushi in California. That's why it's special. Yeah, all right. Yeah, so he's guest chefing at Other Mama today and tomorrow. It was only supposed to be today, but then I guess they got such a high request that he was like, oh, I'll do two days, because apparently he's really good friends with the owner of Other Mama. They're good buddies, they go way back. So he's coming into town and he's doing a special menu for tonight and tomorrow at Other Mama.
Speaker 2:So is it like a preset menu?
Speaker 1:So, from what I read on Other Mama's post, they're still doing their normal menu that you can order off of, and then they're going to have a special menu specifically for the chef. They didn't say anything more, so I don't know if it's like a. I know at his restaurant in LA he does a lot of omakase which is like you're just like hey, I'll. I know at his restaurant in LA he does a lot of omakase which is like you're just like hey, I'll take the 12-piece omakase, and then he just makes you 12 pieces of nigiri, however he wants, whatever fish he wants, and then he gives it to you. So it might be something like that.
Speaker 1:It might also be like a tasting menu where you get a set amount of courses. It might also be everything's a la carte and you just order what you want. Um, but we'll find out in like to an hour and a half. Yep, um, but then we'll probably talk about next week, if I'm hoping it's. Campo sent me a couple videos about the chef that I watched the other night and this guy seems super cool. He seems like the bad boy of sushi oh shit like so he's from japan
Speaker 1:yeah uh, he moved to california because he's like dude, he just felt like everyone kind of did things by the book and he's like you have to do it this way, you have to do that way in japan. So he's like, nah, I'm gonna move to california, see what happens. So he moved to california, was a waiter at a japanese place and the gm came up to him and was like, would you want to be in the kitchen? Like you got any interest? And he's like, yeah, sure, I'll learn. And so like he got back there and he fell in love with it and he just started doing like crazy shit. Like he just started like cooking up his own thing.
Speaker 1:Apparently he was like the first guy in california to bring barracuda in and do like barracuda sushi and nagarian shit hasn't heard of joan jett, um and so like, and he seems like a really cool dude and he just likes to fucking party and, uh, make sushi. Dude, he seems hella tight. So how old is this guy? This guy's, he's I think he's like 40, 45 to something like that. He's somewhere in that age range. But yeah, he has super long hair and a goatee. He looks like he could have been in a classic rock band. He's super cool, so I'm very excited to try his food. I'm sure it's going to be a blast.
Speaker 2:Joan Jett did not sing Barracuda, no.
Speaker 1:Pat Benatar did.
Speaker 3:Yeah or no? No.
Speaker 1:Hart Hart. Who's the lead singer of Hart?
Speaker 2:I'll give you a hint, but you're not going to guess. Ann Dustin Wilson.
Speaker 1:No, I wouldn't have gotten that. I did know Hart sang that song, though.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:So I'd like to apologize to all the Pat Benatar and.
Speaker 2:Joan Jett fans out there. There is a third one, I guess.
Speaker 1:Heart who sings 99 Luftballons.
Speaker 2:That's some Swedish bitch right To me, goldfinger, but it's some no German. She sings in German. I don't what's the. She sings in German.
Speaker 1:I don't fuck what's the difference between German and Swedish line in the ground. Yeah, like metaphorically, also like culture.
Speaker 2:Nah, they're the same.
Speaker 1:So just what she goes by. Her name is Nina Okay.
Speaker 2:And no idea, she only has that one song, though she's 64. Wow, she's 64. Wow, she's still pretty young.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when did that song come out? I thought it came out in like the 80s 83. Oh, no, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. That would make sense, because my dad's 65. That makes sense. That makes sense.
Speaker 2:And he partied in the 80s. Yeah, he partied in the 80s, dude. All our dads partied in the 80s, brother.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh it's like, and now we are partying in the 20s yeah, I was having that conversation with jacob and y'all the other night when we were hanging out on uh friday and we were sitting there and we were talking about we talked about it on easter a little bit but jacob and y'all brought up the fact like drinking, like I think you drink human blood, like it's fine or make you worse, and they're like well depends if it's from a healthy person or not, and I was like do you guys realize like we're just sitting sitting around like having beers, like this is what we used to see our parents. Do you know you see your parents like hanging out with their friends drinking and just like talking? But I was like I bet you they weren't talking about shit as cool as this. Nah, but I was like we're basically there already.
Speaker 2:They're probably talking about like taxes or something. Yeah, or some Iron Chef, I don't fucking know no, what existed in the 80s? Well, I mean when I was alive.
Speaker 1:I was in the early 2000s. Yeah, Iron Chef was in the 90s you know, yeah, dumb shit like that the housing market. How fucking cheap it is and then how it crashed yeah, oh shit, oh shit, um, but yeah, yeah, and I was like wow, we've become our parents. Now we're there, like we're doing it minus the kids. Yeah, my well, their dame was there so I was like he'll be old enough to remember this eventually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not that long A couple more years.
Speaker 1:That's my other thing. I ran that by Chris. I was like so we have a kid. I was like we can just skip their first two birthdays, right? She's like what are you talking about? I was like they're not going to remember it. She goes, yeah, but like all the pictures and stuff, I was like you know what I'd do right now if someone showed me a picture of my first birthday? Not give a fuck. Cool, yeah, that would be it yeah, I don't give a shit yeah, don't give a shit.
Speaker 1:So I was like why would we throw?
Speaker 2:my third money on a party. Third birthday is my first memory exactly so that's my thing.
Speaker 1:Once you, once they can remember it, I'm all for it. Throw them a banger, you know. Let them know strippers, hookers, whatever they want yeah, fuck it, run it up. But like, why throw a one-year-old a birthday party? It's for other than for the parents, which is dumb, because I don't need another party.
Speaker 2:My sister did that right and she's like oh, it's winnie the pooh themed. I'm like why, I'm like this party's for you pick a theme you want. Yeah, like what the fuck, why do I have to? And she wanted everybody to dress up like they're. You know? You know what Disney bounding is? No, disney bounding is when you wear regular clothes in the vein of Disney characters.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I see people do that on Instagram, so you don't dress like, yeah, like that one.
Speaker 2:I know there's one fat autistic.
Speaker 1:The fat? Yeah, dude that guy. He just wears different colored shirts.
Speaker 2:He's like I'm Iron man. He's wearing yellow pants and a red shirt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's really bad. I've seen a girl do it, though, who models her work outfits off of Dragon Ball Z characters. Hers are actually pretty hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hers are hard Because they got drip in Dragon Ball. Dude. There's some fucking hard-ass outfits in that show, like Piccolo during the driving test, or Vegeta's. Batman shirt.
Speaker 1:I mean there's a lot, even just like Piccolo alone With his purple gear, his purple training.
Speaker 2:He looks sick, but anywho, she wanted everybody to do that as Winnie the Pooh characters and I was like what are we doing?
Speaker 1:This is for a one-year-old. I'm not going to remember, I'm not going to remember anyone dressed up. None of that shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then yeah, yeah, so she was, and she would have like big parties and invite all of her friends with all their kids and uh, but there'd be no alcohol. I don't know, like a, like a bound, not a, not even a bounce house, just other.
Speaker 1:So what's the?
Speaker 2:fucking point. Lots of kid games and stuff. I'm like why am I going to a children's birthday party?
Speaker 1:If there's no alcohol. If there's, at least bring alcohol like let me get fucked. If you're making me come to your children's birthday party, let me get fucked up, oh man, or at least let me have a beer. Maybe you can even put a limit on it if you don't want me getting fucked up around kids.
Speaker 2:But like I don't need to get schwifty around kids.
Speaker 1:No, but just let me have like two beers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and give me a charcuterie, because if I don't have two beers.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to be annoyed the whole time. I'm just going to be like, well, fuck my hair, at least if I have two beers.
Speaker 2:It takes the edge, fuckers, yeah I can't wait until I'm one of the parents that, like it, goes to their kids friends birthday parties and I'm like I don't know any of these fucking people here I'm gonna have whiskey in a flash.
Speaker 1:For sure I'm an alcoholic, uh yeah, nah, if you are.
Speaker 3:If you bring whiskey in a flask to anywhere yeah honestly, yeah, yeah, and hide it from people like you're in the corner well.
Speaker 1:So that's the thing. I wouldn't hide it from people. Yeah, I'd be like I got whiskey in here like I would tell people you want some yeah, I would be offering for sure I'd be like. You guys have to be here too. You want some, and I wouldn't. I wouldn't put shitty whiskey in a flask, I'd be like it would be some good blends, you know, or something but uh I just probably want to tell the host of the party.
Speaker 1:If they were like no alcohol, I'd bring my own. I'd tell everyone else, but I'd be like man.
Speaker 3:I won't tell you yeah.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so I'm not throwing my kid at first or second birthday party. If I can help it, I'll try.
Speaker 2:You will. I'll just have to fight, chris, though. Yeah, it's not up to you. It's not up to you.
Speaker 1:But if I have to, my party will be sick. It'll be like dragon ball z themed and I'll have shots for all the parents and it'll be sick, dude, that'll be fire though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I was three, by the way, and I my very first memory is like waking up on my third birthday and running to my mom and being like I'm three and she's like, yes, you are sweetie. Uh, and then my party later that night was blues clues theme. Oh, blues clues was a banger bro shout out, steve.
Speaker 1:I was so obsessed with blues clues as a kid and then my party later that night was Blue's Clues themed. Oh, blue's Clues was a banger, bro. Shout out, steve.
Speaker 2:I was so obsessed with Blue's Clues as a kid that when my parents would introduce me to their friends. They'd be like this is Keegan, our son. I'd be like no, I'm Steve and I wore the same stupid green striped shirt Not now, he's bald.
Speaker 1:No, you could have been the OG, steve, though.
Speaker 2:He likes kids a lot, you know, not like in a creepy way either. He left Blue's Clues to start a rock band, but it was like, geared towards family, friendly, that's pretty cool. So he's just like a cool guy that gets along with kids and is all about that shit. And he's still a part of Blue's Clues. They, you know, gets along with kids and is like all about that shit, and he's still a part of blues clues they brought him back.
Speaker 2:They did, yeah, they brought back him. So there's three blues clues guys. There's Steve, there's Steve Burns, I think there's bill or whoever replaced him, and then there's salt peppers, salt peppers in there too, paprika paprika. Uh and they they brought back all three Mail time mail time mail time mail time, and they all work together to solve crime.
Speaker 1:Blue's Clues was like Pee Wee's Funhouse, but not as creepy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because Pee Wee masturbated in an adult theater and that's wrong.
Speaker 1:I thought he was on a plane. I thought he got caught on a plane.
Speaker 2:No, it was in an adult movie theater. I think I thought he got caught on a plane Check. I thought he got caught on a plane check because this is important now I need to know. I swear.
Speaker 1:It was like in public, like it wasn't even at a movie, it was like in public. I could, I could, 100% be wrong. I could be wrong too. I thought I had seen it in public, in public, in Pee Wee, oh no, in a video theater yeah, an adult video theater in Sarasota.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, I thought you're allowed to do that. No, not if you're peewee herman, not if you're a celebrity. You can't just be jerking your dick in pub. But maybe if I don't know. I don't know, I've never been to an adult movie theater. Also, what's the point? I don't want to watch porn like just casually, like I don't want to just sit down and like watch a two-hour porno and be like who goes to a porno theater with the intentions of not jacking off.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. Yeah, what?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's weird. If I'm going to a porno theater and I'm watching porn, I expect and everyone in the movie theater.
Speaker 1:It knows you're there to jack off. Yeah, yeah, like the other five people in that theater are also jacking off.
Speaker 2:It's not like you're watching.
Speaker 1:You're there to jack off, yeah, yeah, like the other five people in that theater are also jacking off it's not like you're watching, you're like you know what?
Speaker 2:I'm gonna, I'm gonna put this in my memory I like this.
Speaker 1:I like this, I like her work. This is oscar worthy that's crazy bro imagine getting in trouble for doing the thing meant to do at the place yeah it's like going to a basketball court and playing basketball and getting arrested for it.
Speaker 2:Also, imagine being the undercover detective there, because you're also jacking it. You gotta be or else you're not fitting in you know.
Speaker 1:Everyone's like what's with this weirdo? And I'm pulling a dick out. Hey, is that a fucking cop? Hey man.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to start jacking off so whip out your dick already.
Speaker 1:He stands up. He's like put your hands up. His pants fall down around his ankles.
Speaker 2:He's got a massive hard-on. He's a big rock hard-on. He's like you're under a breast Rest Fuck.
Speaker 1:I'm going to come get you.
Speaker 2:Tackles him to the floor and he's like oh shit, I like this, fuck, fuck, fuck. P puts fuzzy handcuffs on him while he's taking him away not again wait this is a skit.
Speaker 1:This is a skit fuck man, this is our idea.
Speaker 2:Write this down. Write this down, zach, are you writing this?
Speaker 1:down. Write this down in your notes. Write porn theater cop jack off all his bullet points.
Speaker 2:Zach, I'm on fire today dude dude write those things down, dude, I did write them down in your head. No, I watched him. He got a pen and paper out. He wrote it down. I wrote them down.
Speaker 1:I saw.
Speaker 3:Zach too.
Speaker 1:Zach, I can see your dick through your shorts.
Speaker 2:I can see your dick, Zach don't be, wearing underwear on the podcast.
Speaker 1:That shit's crazy.
Speaker 3:What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:Here's what I don't understand.
Speaker 3:Why are you doing this to me? Nobody's ever seen my dick you can't, honestly.
Speaker 1:There's one episode I was watching recently where I was like that's Xcock, I could see it through your shorts, for sure.
Speaker 2:There's a couple episodes where I'm like you're bulging dude, yeah, dude, Stop looking at my fucking Well stop fucking putting her on the internet then motherfucker, Can I ask you something else? What's the point of big warm sweatshirt and no pants? You feel like a girl right now.
Speaker 3:I keep it hot on the top, cool on the bottom, okay.
Speaker 2:Period. I respect it. You remind me of, like you know, just a girl.
Speaker 3:I can't expect you to understand my swag bro but, just know that I'm swagging very hard. I mean, I do that sometimes.
Speaker 1:I mean, right now I'm wearing you both are we're wearing pants and a short sleeve t-shirt.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I guess, yeah dude, what's up with those big ass pants and that fucking?
Speaker 1:well, his pants aren't that big and also, like you know, if it was my bad, my bad these shorts are very short. These are like booty shorts. I even have pretty short shorts. I don't think any shorts I have are that short.
Speaker 2:That's like a three-inch inseam dude, those are tiny. This is a regular shirt. I can see your cock a little bit. No hate, I'm just asking a question bro, you look, dripped out the colors coordinate. Yeah, dude, you look cool, I would be seen with you in public, but I just want to know the thought process behind. Do you want to be cold or hot?
Speaker 3:I'm perfectly balanced right now. He's temperaturized. I'm warm up top, I'm cool on the bottom right now lord, I want to be keeping you warm I got the right temperature to shelter you from this storm.
Speaker 2:Oh lord what party generates the most heat?
Speaker 1:because, like for me, feet, my balls, for sure. Anytime I stick my hand out my pants, I'm like it's hot but do your balls get uncomfortably hot. No, sometimes. Not all the time, though. No, sometimes though. Sometimes they start chafing because they're sweating, because they're so hot my feet be getting uncomfortably hot um I don't wear I like. When I get home I take my socks off, so I usually don't have to deal with that because I have, like house slippers when you sleep at night, or your feet in the covers or they I it depends on how hot I am.
Speaker 1:Personally, I always got it like because I usually relieve some of the heat if I stick my feet out, but if I'm not hot, then I'm Also, kristen keeps the house at like fucking 40 degrees when we sleep, so I'm rarely ever hot. Yeah, because she likes to sleep in Antarctica.
Speaker 2:I like to sleep cold too, but that's because I'm not hot.
Speaker 1:She does. She sleeps very hot. That's why I don't cuddle with her, because I'm like you're literally a ball of fire, so get the fuck away from me. Yeah, before I start fucking Beating your wife. No, I would never do that.
Speaker 2:All right, hey things. A cop would say yeah, I would never do that, I would never beat my wife.
Speaker 1:I really wouldn't, though, but like she's just like she knows it, though I wouldn't beat her either. She knows that I don't fucking cuddle when I sleep.
Speaker 3:She knew that early on.
Speaker 1:I told her early on. I was like, just so you know when I go to fall asleep, don't fuck with me.
Speaker 2:I normally don't like cuddling, but I don't know the person I've been with lately. Bodies just fit good, you know.
Speaker 1:I just get comfortable. You're so gay dude. Yeah, that was really. I don't give a fuck. Okay, I've cuddled with a lot of people.
Speaker 2:I'm an affectionate guy and I like to cuddle, but I'm always uncomfortable. My arm's always doing the fucking thing. You know where you gotta like do this bunch, you do this bunch but. But with this person it's different. It feels it I'm more comfortable when cuddle and I don't care if that's gay Faggot.
Speaker 3:If cuddling with a girl is gay, then I'm the biggest fag alive.
Speaker 1:Amen, brother Preach. At least you know Zach cuddles. Yeah, dude, faggot no.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, sorry no.
Speaker 3:No, bro, see, that's it, I just left it at that.
Speaker 2:You know you're like you can't go too deep into it. You'd be like you like yeah, are you big or little spoon?
Speaker 3:big always bro I'm little always need no bitch to hold me I do I hold me down, I don't need nobody man.
Speaker 1:No, zach doesn't need you apparently no to hold me down.
Speaker 3:I need to hold her, though, okay.
Speaker 2:In order to hold you. Never mind. Never mind, Was that gay?
Speaker 1:A little bit, but not as gay as what you said. You said you guys fit perfectly, we do.
Speaker 2:We're both tall people. It works, it works.
Speaker 1:Fucking our pussies linked up like the avatar movie. Yeah, our pubes tie together like like that's cool see that's cool. Thank you, that's not gay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, that's. That is cool, though, and I'm happy for you shut up and uh, just so you know I'm the gayest, so no hate there it's not a competition, but it was, I'd suck your dick right now. No, no, no, I don't want to do that?
Speaker 2:I would, but I don't want to.
Speaker 1:Or bow out. I'm good you don't want to suck a little ween. No bow, wow, I'd do bow wow, oh, you'd suck bow wow. I'd bow, wow, bow, wow, wow, it's Bow Wow's real name Richard Dawson.
Speaker 3:I think it's like Bow-a-swow-wow or something Bow-wee-wow-wee.
Speaker 1:Thank you for the Bow-wee-wow-wee Dude, one of my favorite streamers right now on Twitch. Well, he doesn't, he streams on Twitch, but I only watch his clips. His name's iLumpy and he's just this white dude with long hair and glasses and he just talks the most shit, bro. It's so much fun to watch his videos because he's just fucking talking shit the whole time and he's just diesel and people, bro, like, he's just clearly better than everyone in the lobby. He's just talking shit and it's so much fun to watch him. I love dudes who are just talking shit, dude, because I love to talk shit. No, you talking poop. You know what I meant. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I love talking shit, dude.
Speaker 1:I love talking shit, especially when I'm better than people at the thing.
Speaker 2:Here's what I don't like no Overwatch. And let me tell you why.
Speaker 1:I can't talk any shit, yeah, and let me tell you why I can't talk any shit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, dude they really softened up over the years.
Speaker 1:They're soft as fuck, Dude. When Overwatch 1 came out, I was saying egregious shit on that fucking game.
Speaker 2:And these days you can't even hard R dude.
Speaker 1:No, you can't even call someone ass, Like if you literally are like bro your ass, like they'll fucking ban you for a day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can't, which is crazy you can't say bitch because you can't dude. What is this game? Another video for you and k for kids it's rated t for teens so then let me say bitch or ass, I get pg-13 movies, I can say and you can say fuck once, let me one fuck, let me one fuck in a pg-13 movie. So dude, and I'm pretty sure there's some pg-13 movies. Yeah, dummy.
Speaker 1:And then they're like they don't really get you.
Speaker 2:What about dummy?
Speaker 1:Dummy, I think is fine. I've used dummy at least once. Dingus Dingus is probably fine. Poindexter I love Poindexter.
Speaker 2:We gotta bring that one back. It's Poindexter, correct.
Speaker 1:Is it? I don't know. I've always said point Dexter, but it might be point and you just kind of skip over the T. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, Like you just yeah, you just say really fast. So it's like point Dexter, but you're saying that TD combo. No, it's point, it's point, it's point.
Speaker 2:What's the actual meaning of?
Speaker 1:point studious and socially inept person boarding the studio. Yeah an incel. Yeah, you fucking nerd. So instead of saying I think you can say nerd too. I think I've said nerd a few times and I've gotten away with that too, so nerd is fine can you say incel? Uh, probably you can say nerd, you can say dummy, you just gotta get creative now, yeah, which I guess is challenging for the mental, you know yeah, it's, it's stimulating game? Yeah, because you can go on there and be like fucking bitch, but then that's not as fun.
Speaker 2:It's pretty fun. No, it is. It's so much fun, dude, it feels so good. It feels so good, especially when they get mad back yeah.
Speaker 1:I love it when you win and they're upset at their teammates and then you just sprinkle more on it. It doesn't even matter you, you're all dog shit yeah. And then they're cause they're already fighting each other. And now they're just like oh, now I got this big head fucking chiming in and you're like yeah, you do, motherfucker, deal with it, you just want one more sip.
Speaker 3:Is that all? Do they, uh, do they allow you to like, call somebody like a sand goon?
Speaker 2:or something.
Speaker 3:That's racist for sure. I don that's racist for sure. I don't know what that means. That's gotta be racist either, but I think it's an arabic person. It kind of sounds yeah, you sand goon.
Speaker 1:You can probably say hey, hucker, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, you.
Speaker 2:You could probably get creative with it like that, you fucking spoon-faced bitch that's.
Speaker 1:That's got to be an actual racist thing already.
Speaker 2:That's our urban dictionary.
Speaker 1:I guarantee it. Well, that's from.
Speaker 2:Daniel Tosh yeah.
Speaker 1:I know, but I feel like people would probably use that before Daniel Tosh, but it wasn't popular and he made it popular and now it's definitely on Urban Dictionary.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Go ahead and send us your favorite Sandweasel. That's good too.
Speaker 3:Sandweasel is better than sand goon. I don't know I don't think.
Speaker 2:I don't think so. Really Sand goon sounds more offensive to me Sand weasel. It's lighter, you know, but I like.
Speaker 1:I like sand weasel. It just sounds like a real animal.
Speaker 2:Everybody. Go ahead and send us your favorite racial slurs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, send us your favorite racial slurs that aren't racial slurs yet.
Speaker 2:Right, or ones that are. That's fine too, no don't send us those. I've already heard those though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, so I'm looking for creativity points, something I can copy and paste in Overwatch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, give me something that I can call somebody else. Yeah, and I don't need to know what the race is, just say it and I'll figure it out. The rest, you know, I'll apply it as I see.
Speaker 1:yeah you do the sponge, sponge. You do this bunch. I'm sorry that's all right, buddy stuck in my head ever since fucking stone started singing it. That sounds like something. Stone came up to me. He's like brosman stuck my head every day for the last six months I was like there's no way.
Speaker 2:But now it's been stuck in my head every day for the last months you know, maybe next week we can get stone on here as a guest, because he just has so many fun stories. Yeah, dude, you should see his balls. You, he's getting that fixed apparently. Yeah, he's telling me about it, but yeah, stone has. You've seen his nuts, right?
Speaker 1:no, he's posted him in the discord. One nut that's like so huge dude.
Speaker 2:We're talking tennis. Yeah, he's got one tennis ball-sized nut and then one regular one.
Speaker 1:It almost makes me sick thinking about it.
Speaker 3:Does it hurt when he comes?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:And he doesn't even come fat loads I love how.
Speaker 1:That's Zach's first question. Well, I asked him that pretty early on as well, I was like dude, do you shoot ropes?
Speaker 2:He's like no, I was like that sucks. I was like does it?
Speaker 1:hurt. Do you guys shoot? Never mind.
Speaker 2:Do I shoot fat loads?
Speaker 1:No, we're backtracking. Yes, I do shoot fat loads. Do you guys have any sis or growths that we should know about? I have a sister. No.
Speaker 2:No. I've never had anything like that, and I'm a grower, two for two. No, I've never had one either, and if you do have one you're a freak. I wonder how it feels. Probably probably like ow. It's probably pretty painful. I'd imagine it's like kind of like a pimple, but like big and sensitive, you know.
Speaker 3:What does what feel like?
Speaker 2:A cyst oh.
Speaker 3:It's like Michelle sometimes gets cysts in her eye.
Speaker 1:You know, oh yeah, fucking, and I'm like that looks so painful yeah, no, it's like it's not pink eye, because it's like a bubble, literally like a bubble forms you and I'm like that.
Speaker 2:I feel like that just gets like super irritable, though you know, yeah, and it goes and it goes away, yeah but like I have a thing with eyes like.
Speaker 1:I don't like it when people like touch their eyes and shit like this I'm not looking, um.
Speaker 2:I don't like it when people do that shit, though, so like I can't even imagine having a thing around my eye that dude, I would freak out I just remember seeing a video one time of uh, what your eye is doing when, when people close it like rub their eyes, whatever, and it's like bending your eyeball in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because it's like malleable, right? Yeah, it's squishy.
Speaker 2:Eyeballs are squishy, but you don't think about that when you're rubbing your eyes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just like I'm glad I have great vision, because I don't think I could put in contacts, like the thought of getting that close to my eye, like fucking, I don't like it.
Speaker 2:How are you with eye drops? I?
Speaker 1:don't no eye drops go in my eyes what were you saying, zach?
Speaker 3:I think you're a survivor norm and I think you're probably not giving yourself enough credit I mean, I'd probably just wear glasses, to be honest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'd probably just say fuck contacts I look cute in glasses so I would I wear them and I don't even have to. Uh, I also am glad I don't have to wear contacts, and it took me a long time when I put in eye drops. It's a mess, dude. I like open my eye and just like kind of dump as much as I can and hope some of it makes it into my eyeball.
Speaker 1:It is crazy, though, that like or I touch my eye directly like christa pays like so much money a month just to see and I just wake up and do it for free, for free, dude. That shit's crazy. That shit's crazy to think about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, and like my grandpa, that was a while. My grandpa and my mom, honestly, they both have like bad eyesight and their lenses are so thick that a pair of their glasses cost like $600.
Speaker 1:Bro, you ever seen Dayton's no Dude Bad eyes too? Huh, that guy is. I think he's legally blind. I'm like 90% sure he is. You can see barely Dude. His glasses are like fucking two inches thick, dude. They're crazy. That's a bit much. It's fucking wild dude. I've never seen someone with that bad eyes in person before. I'm talking about him.
Speaker 2:You know, I don't think it's a coincidence that every girl I've dated has bad eyesight.
Speaker 1:So Where's the relate?
Speaker 2:I'm ugly, oh, and I think every girl. Take me a minute to realize what you're minutes realize every girl that I've dated has bad eyes and they're like oh he's really funny you know, and none of them wear glasses.
Speaker 1:They're all just like his personality is great like.
Speaker 2:Good enough they're like I can see general shapes and person shapes. Yeah, you look like a dude.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I, I can get behind this, yeah, so I mean, chris is pretty blind, so, and you're pretty handsome. Thanks, dude, yep, sorry you, though, nah, don't give yourself, don't, don't, don't give yourself credit, don't undermine your Don't not give yourself enough not credit? Yeah, do that. Do that. Do. Don't not give yourself enough not credit? Yeah, do that. Do that, dude. Don't do that. Dude. Okay, don't don't do this. Zach, how are your eyes pretty fucking gay. Come on, all he sees is dicks all the time. Fucking. Come on, look at stupid ass 69 they're fine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do need contacts and glasses.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I thought you had contacts. Yeah, but like, are you nearsighted, farsighted, nearsighted? But if I took away your glasses, would you be able to make it through the day?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Would, you be able to drive to work.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And do your whole shift and everything.
Speaker 3:You're ugly.
Speaker 2:You're disgusting oh.
Speaker 1:And do your whole shift and everything You're ugly. You're disgusting.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, what just happened? Do we have mail? No, we never do. We might have mail. No, I'm not going to take off just one sock. What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Speaker 1:Everyone's been asking for that. What's up?
Speaker 2:foot community. It's different people. Can you just?
Speaker 1:talk to us Like what's with the one sock on, one sock off thing? Because you can't even get a foot job like that.
Speaker 3:Hey, you fucking weird ass foot fetish no you're fine.
Speaker 1:No, you're pretty weird. Yeah, what's with it, though?
Speaker 2:Unless you're into king shaming.
Speaker 1:What's with it? Why do you want one sock on, one sock off? Dude, you can't just be happy with the socks or the no socks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, Like why do you want? Which one do you want? You can't have both? All right, you can have both.
Speaker 3:Hey, you sick twisted little foot fuckers. What are you probably fucking busting your dick off right now? Do a little picture of a foot or something, you dirty little foot fucker.
Speaker 1:Hey, why don't you guys? Send us enough money, We'll make a.
Speaker 2:You Got Mail foot calendar and we'll send it to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we will Enough money.
Speaker 3:You're ugly and you're stupid. I'm going to kill you, so give me $200.
Speaker 2:You owe me a cock between my feet. Alright, that's enough foot talk, yeah dude.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so if you are out there and you like feet, then fucking. You're a whore, don't.
Speaker 2:Don't, don't. Yeah, I mean, do you guys feel any way about feet in particular?
Speaker 1:No, they don't turn me on.
Speaker 3:I feel like I want people to look at my feet, less you know what hates feet Greg he?
Speaker 2:hates them. Dude hates feet Like gets mad at them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like if you touch his feet with your feet, dude, he tries to punch you.
Speaker 3:If I could just have hands down there like four hands.
Speaker 1:Dude, that'd be so cool. That'd be efficient. Like monkeys Dude, I could get so many things done what I could shake so many more cocktails.
Speaker 2:I would just sit down and I'd just shake four cocktails, but then it'd be like yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you get it yeah I don't like that, I do nobody clip, that clip that someone clip that but stick a dildo yeah can somebody ai uh a big black bane cock?
Speaker 3:ramming uh ramming through keegan's sweet little feet and mouth.
Speaker 2:hey, hey, I wasn't doing anything with my mouth there, yeah, and then have it finish on Zach's face when Keegan's done jacking it.
Speaker 1:And then have me licking its balls.
Speaker 3:What, yeah, put its balls right in my mouth. Mouth pie Keegan Please.
Speaker 1:Mouth pie yeah, is that what you call it when you skull fuck your fiance?
Speaker 2:No, that's a throat pie, depending how deep you go.
Speaker 1:Ah, I get it zach's a freak dude, dude, freak, freak, freak, freak. You guys remember freakazoid on nickelodeon have her mama bird me.
Speaker 2:No, you, you with semen yeah that's gross, you, you kiss your girl after she top you up.
Speaker 1:No, never, really, Until I go fucking take a shower. Get out of my face.
Speaker 2:No, no, nah, she probably says that, but you don't.
Speaker 1:I'm like get the fuck away from me, you whore.
Speaker 3:Norm be wanting to slurp the juice, yeah you want a taste, but don't.
Speaker 2:She don't know about norm yeah, because I'm pretty private zach not anymore, not for the past 200 weeks or how long we've been doing this. I'm talking about bro 120.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about something serious, guys. All right we got.
Speaker 2:We got five minutes. We got four minutes to talk about something serious.
Speaker 1:We'll get you out of bed in the morning, you know.
Speaker 3:My job.
Speaker 1:Is that it? Yeah, that's all it does for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I have a dog I got to take care of, okay.
Speaker 1:That's it. That's it. No friends, no family, nothing.
Speaker 2:Like none of my responsibilities, it's just responsibilities that get me out of bed in the morning. Okay, zach.
Speaker 3:Toaster strudels. Okay, what flavor.
Speaker 1:I don't want to have this conversation anymore with you, guys.
Speaker 3:I actually don't eat toaster strudels. It just is the first thing that came to my mind.
Speaker 1:I've seen that video the girl whose her boyfriend made her a toaster strudel and she goes wait, this was the the last one in the box, right? Why didn't you use the icing? And she looks at it and she goes. But there's icing on it. Why didn't you use the? Why didn't you?
Speaker 3:he's just staring at her that's a salty sweet surprise, fucking hilarious, but you know I bet it didn't even taste that bad fucking depends on his diet, uh norm.
Speaker 2:What gets you out of bed in the morning?
Speaker 1:dude, honestly, just knowing that I got a lot of people around me that care about me I'm like I don't know Is that gay, there's a lot of there's a lot of cool things to look forward to in life. Give me three.
Speaker 3:Yeah, fucking right, dude. I mean like today.
Speaker 1:I was super excited just to go to this dinner tonight. Like I still am. I'm pretty amped Like that's a cool thing like experience eat food, pay money for food well, yeah, we'll experience. Name another species like think about how many people in the world don't get to go to this specific chef's dinner tonight, but like, somehow we do damn near all of them yeah, dude, right, isn't that crazy?
Speaker 1:that's pretty. Um, also, like just time, like I've had so many good times with like the people I care about, Like just like little things, Like even playing Overwatch and like getting some laughs out and shit, Like that's fun.
Speaker 3:All right, one more.
Speaker 1:That's a good time and then probably, like probably, mainly Krista. Krista does a lot for me.
Speaker 2:She makes me happy.
Speaker 1:You couldn't just say titties, bro. I mean she has titties. So therefore it is all encompassing, yeah, titties and vagina included. Whoa, buttholes too, more than one. Wow, yeah, we don't talk about the second one, but yeah, she's really nice, Real talk dude.
Speaker 3:You should have let me know we were given this beautiful, sweet answer. I just said something stupid because I thought we were on our stupid podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, I did preface the conversation by saying let's talk about something serious, and then both you guys were fucking dickbags.
Speaker 2:I mean, I gave a real answer.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, you did, but I feel like you got more. I feel like you got more.
Speaker 3:I feel like you didn't really let your walls down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like there's a little something more.
Speaker 3:I feel like you didn't even really let the feel the rain on your skin and release your inhibitions.
Speaker 1:God damn it. Zach, zach for once, zach for fucking once man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, go ahead, zach, you want to give your serious answer. I stand by mine. I don't like anything being here.
Speaker 1:I think that's a lie too. Yeah it's starting to warm up on me, but given the choice you have, I feel like you got so much to look forward to, though I mean, I do it for you guys that's not enough, bro.
Speaker 3:You need to do it for yourself I don't like no facts.
Speaker 2:I'm good, I'm happy with, I'm easy. I live my life to satisfy other people that's not gonna satisfy you though it does. Making other people happy does make me happy because I uh am not and feel like I can't be, so I feel like making other people happy you can be was the thing, that's what brings me joy you can be.
Speaker 3:Thank you, people happy you can be. That's what brings me joy. You can be. Thank you, you're right, I can be, You're just saying that to appease me. You're just saying that because you think that's what I want to hear. I want you to feel it, keegan, all right.
Speaker 1:Are you feeling it now, keegan? No, aren't thou feeling it now, keegan?
Speaker 3:No, but we'll keep trying. I said it aggressively, though Does that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it helped a little bit yeah.
Speaker 1:So what if we tattooed our fists and then beat the fuck out of?
Speaker 3:you, you better feel that fucking shit dude With positive mantras on them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's cool Okay sick, that might help Sick Sick.
Speaker 2:Sick dude, zach. What gets you out of bed in the morning? You want to give your serious answer now.
Speaker 3:My alarm clock.
Speaker 1:Alright, you're such a fucking dickbag, dude I fucking hate this guy, dude.
Speaker 2:Another week of we've got the males.
Speaker 1:You've got male Boop boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. That's pretty close Do-doom-boom.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's an old one isn't it. Do-doom-boom. Well, it's the same now, but slower, no he made a whole new song. It's like the same general rhythm though.
Speaker 3:It's a whole new song, though. Zach I appreciate your work. It's a whole new song and Keegan doesn't really give me my flowers on that, but that's okay, I don't need flowers, I'll get flowers when I'm dead, fuck my flowers.
Speaker 1:Right, zach? You fucking dickbag, I'll get flowers when I'm dead.
Speaker 2:Dude, fuck I'm hungry dude, I'm fucking so hungry.
Speaker 1:Fuck yeah, dude, fuck you dickbag. I'm fucking so hungry, Can we go? Fuck yeah, dude. Hey, fuck you dickbag. Zach Zach dickbag.
Speaker 3:What's up, dude? Damn it, Don't be fucking rude bro.
Speaker 1:Fucking dickbag, dickbag. Dickbag is fun to say. Try it one time. Dickbag, dickbag, dickbag, dickbag. What are you a fucking bag? This is Dick Bag you.