Please Drink Responsibly
Three friends that are here to educate you about the world of beverage in an inviting and easy to listen to way. Without taking ourselves too seriously we also aim to inform the listener about very interesting spirits and liquors, all while drinking them down... responsibly of course.
Please Drink Responsibly
Ep. 125 | Fighting The Elderly
Ask us anything, we know it all!
Ever found yourself in a sports bar that's trying too hard to be a club? We've been there, done that, and we're spilling the beans along with some whiskey in our latest episode. As we crack open a bottle of Basil Hayden's malted rye, we're letting the conversation flow from the art of whiskey brewing to the unwelcome surprise of a gun hypothetically making its way into the studio. It's all about the unexpected - from handling imaginary intruders with our signature bravado to the peculiar state of modern radio.
Get comfortable and join us as we dissect the ambiance of a local sports bar during a Knights game - and not in a good way. Then, we'll switch gears and talk shop about Bulleit Rye cocktail combinations before gearing up to share our take on the action-packed "Boy Kills World." We're also tossing in a healthy measure of consumerism chatter, some dark humor on the fragility of life, and a fashion debate over a pair of shorts that might just break the bank.
Wind down with us as we cast our comedic lens over recent TV renewals and rank the "New Girl" cast in terms of charm (because why not?). As the conversation takes twists and turns, we'll venture into movie territories, from the anticipation around Lamar Morris and Rick Glassman's latest projects to the pasta jokes that are too saucy to handle. And of course, we can't wrap up without diving into those customer service encounters that are as cringeworthy as they are hilarious, finishing strong with tales of legendary insults from unforgettable nights out. It's an episode that pairs perfectly with a good laugh and a fine whiskey. Cheers!
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Welcome to you. Got Mail the manliest podcast on the internet.
Speaker 2:Hey, what's up guys?
Speaker 1:Welcome to you. Got Mail here kicking back with keegan norman zach um no, it's not, I'm fucking regular.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is regular.
Speaker 1:I just was trying to get into my radio voice. I'm trying to do a little sensual seduction I'm a creep radio voice? No, no, you just radio. You just need to get fucking hyped up, dude, you need you need a little radio.
Speaker 2:No, no Radio's. So weird.
Speaker 1:You just need to get fucking hyped up, dude. What the fuck is going on? Radio's dying, it's dying, it's dead, it's dead.
Speaker 2:Three. Okay, okay, I'm not going to, I'm not going to Burn it up.
Speaker 1:I brought the alcohol this week and I brought a bottle I've never seen before. Basil Hayden released a malted rye version of their whiskey, so it's 100% malted rye, they said. I looked up a few things of information about it. It says that it is going to have the flavor notes on it are lightly floral hints of oak, caramel and cinnamon and it finishes with chocolate and warm spice.
Speaker 1:It says it's 100% malted rye. Imparts a delicate floral aroma, toasted rye bread and baking spice. Unique in character, unmistakably Basil Hayden hayden, though. So we got that. Uh, so malted rye? I looked it up. Is this jim beam? So yeah, yeah, it's owned by beam suntory. Yeah, yeah, what isn't? Um, I looked it up just to be sure. Uh, it's a process where they get the, the grain to moisten up and germinate so that the enzymes in the grain convert the starches into sugar, so it gets a little sweet in there, and apparently it's really common in barley but not in rye. Apparently, they don't do this very often for rye whiskey, so this should be pretty cool we've had a couple like for our 100th episode we did a single malt barley.
Speaker 1:Uh, 100 single malt barley bottle yeah, but so apparently malted rye doesn't happen very often. I haven't seen it um, and I love basil hayden. So I saw this and I was like I gotta try it.
Speaker 2:You like rye, so and I love rye, um.
Speaker 1:So yeah, on their website it just says like 100% malted rye, build uh gives you aroma taste finish color. I really do like the color, though it's like very light, but it's still standard appealing um, and yeah, it looks like it should be some good stuff.
Speaker 2:So let's fucking, let's drink this bitch dude'm going to shoot it first and then I'm going to sip it after I'm feeling rye sexual. Do it the other way. Yeah, nah, all right, take a little sip and then shoot the rest. He says imagine if I just pulled out Zach's gun and shot the table. Cool, there ain't no way that we're shooting this. Would you be mad?
Speaker 1:What If?
Speaker 2:I pulled out a gun and shot the table.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a little desk pop, a little podcast pop. It'd be called a PP, a podcast pop. It would be funny, though.
Speaker 2:A little PP, a little pop, pop, pop pop. Yeah, for most people, in fact everybody but me and man I'm in Would it go you think, if he?
Speaker 1:shot directly on top of the desk. It would go through the desk and the floor, or?
Speaker 2:just the desk. No, it's going through the floor. It's going through the floor too. Yeah, for sure. If there's a dog under there, like one of our dogs playing, it's going to kill that dog.
Speaker 1:What's directly underneath his bedroom? The garage.
Speaker 2:The kitchen.
Speaker 1:The kitchen. So there's a chance. So you could break a bunch of shit. Yeah, I could.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have any expensive glassware? Uh, no.
Speaker 1:No expensive wine glasses, we're okay.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:What if this is like right above the pantry and you just break all the bottles he has in his pantry?
Speaker 2:Well, that'd be a bummer yeah. For Zach? Yeah, but it would still be funny up here.
Speaker 1:Hey, you know, I would be laughing my ass off. Neither you guys have a gun, though, but you know I said it was your gun. Yeah, where is my gun? I know which one it's in the safe.
Speaker 2:No, you got it on your like nightstand over there probably you got a hidden uh behind your bed, under your bed.
Speaker 1:I bet I could near your bed quick. Someone come rob zach's house and find his gun yep, oh, they'll find it against their forehead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, begging for mercy and they're dead and Zach's gonna say, alright, you can go, and then shoot them in the back Because he likes that dirty shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, alright, zach. So say, someone's arming your house and you know they're unarmed for sure, are you still gonna shoot them or are you gonna fight them like a real man?
Speaker 2:You're gonna fight him like a real man. You're gonna fist fight him. Oh, you're just a pussy, then yeah you little fucking pussy. But guess what?
Speaker 1:he's gonna be a fucking pussy when I fucking plant his face into the fucking concrete yeah, but what if he was like ah, fight me like a real man, and then you shot him?
Speaker 2:you're a bitch dude.
Speaker 1:I'd be like get the fuck out of my house and then what if he was like, yeah, all right, I'll leave okay, then goodbye close the door. Okay, cool, call the police call the police he didn't take anything. He just was breaking in and if you weren't home he was gonna steal shit. But you were home and he was like, fine, I'll leave man no, I'd probably call the police, okay, fuck yeah, fuck yeah I'd be, like I'd be. What if he was like hella chill I'd be toying with that motherfucker too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what if?
Speaker 1:he like the second he saw. Like the second, he saw you. He was like oh man, dude, I knew this was a bad idea. I've been trying to straighten out my life Like man. My friends convinced me this like the last hurrah, and we were hitting houses on the block. I'll get us all out of this neighborhood right now, bro, I got to stop.
Speaker 2:All of us, would you?
Speaker 1:still call the cops Hell yeah, oh yeah, fuck yeah dude.
Speaker 2:Dude, that's fucking. You're a pussy dude. You're such a bitch dude and I'd be fucking toying with that motherfucker. You're such a bitch. I'd have my hand in my pocket dialing the cops Give him a second chance. Man, I'd be toying with that motherfucker, I'd be fucking like sit your ass down, you bitch ass motherfucker.
Speaker 1:You ain't going nowhere. I'd be aggressively putting your gun in their face. Could you god dude, I could just fucking. Could you get arrested for kidnapping?
Speaker 1:no, because he wanted to leave, though no, because he was trying he was waiting for the cops to get their citizens arrest yeah, but it's one of those things, right like a store can't even you can't force someone to stay, even if they've stolen, I don't know. Private property, I think might be different. I don't know, yeah, maybe. Yeah, I don't know why. Private property I think might be different. I don't know. Yeah, maybe.
Speaker 2:I don't know Why'd you tie him up, zach, you're such a fucking pussy dude. No, I'm not. Cheers, dude. Cheers, zach, being a little pussy, you do the same thing. No, I don't own a gun, I'd just be like hey, man, take whatever you want, just don't hurt me. I'm helping him out. Dude, he needs it more than I do. Hey, he needs it more than I do.
Speaker 1:You're welcome, man. Hey, I hope you have a great life. I can buy back whatever you steal. You probably can't.
Speaker 2:That's interesting. Yeah, good for you If somebody came into my house and they pointed a gun at me and I was pointing a gun at them when we were kind of like Mexican standout yeah, it's like it's this is fucking good.
Speaker 1:It's like sweet caramel, almost dude.
Speaker 2:This might be my new shit, honey.
Speaker 1:It's like I'm. I gotta talk to joe real quick. You still got the rye in the back of your throat. I'm actually gonna send a picture to our manager right now, but keep talking uh, anywho, so we're both holding guns to each other, right?
Speaker 2:he's like all right. How about we put these guns down? We settle it like men. I'd be like all right, and then, as soon as he starts to put his gun down, I'd shoot him in the face there you go dishonor, I don't care. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, bro. Yeah, papa plays to win.
Speaker 2:Papa plays to win papa papa cap in his ass plays to win. Yeah, that's what they call me. They call me papa papa cap in his ass. I'm gonna put an ice cube in this and really open this bitch up me, me alone at the bar to the bartender wow, dude, I like this actually a lot, like so much.
Speaker 1:It's almost like cereal milk. It's dude, it's like the right, it's the perfect amount of sweet, yeah, and it itches. It just itches the back of your throat a little bit yeah it's not like a full-on sucker punch I've never had had a sweet rye before Dude, this is fucking good stuff.
Speaker 2:I will say. Yesterday I went to go watch the Knights lose against the Ducks in our own home ice at the bar and I asked the bartender for a shot of bullets and she just poured at least a double. Did you go to?
Speaker 1:that shitty sports bar we went to. No, oh, wow, okay.
Speaker 2:Actually I went there once to watch the night's game, right, oh, you did, and uh yeah, because I was like, oh, they poured big shots like yeah beer, whatever. I had already eaten, so I didn't even worry about the food. I went in, I sat down. Uh, they go into the third period. The nights start their third period and they turned off the volume on all the tvs and had a dj in the corner, start playing hell loud, obnoxious music.
Speaker 2:I would have killed myself and then, yeah, and then it turned into a nightclub. They took all the bar stools out and, like all the bottle, girls started going with the, with the like fire they're hot not fun. No, oh, they were.
Speaker 1:Oh, it was like five sixes so mids bottle girl services, mids music over a loudly important night's game loud as fuck. Yeah, it was play. It was the first playoff game that I did. I mean, if they're really hot girls and it was good music, then I get it no, they were just trying to like make it loud.
Speaker 2:All of a sudden, I'm like, dude, it's 8 pm. What are we doing? Why are we turning into a nightclub at 8 pm? Anywho, it was. It was really obnoxious and they had, like the they're not firecrackers, what am I like? Like sparklers? And shit yeah yeah, yeah, and they're just being loud and yelling and going woo.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you can order bottle service there, which is crazy yeah it's $300 for a bottle of Bacardi.
Speaker 2:What? Go fuck yourself.
Speaker 1:Literally walk to the store, buy it for $15, and drink it outside in the parking lot.
Speaker 2:What? Yeah, what $300? Because what's weird is that is 100% a local spot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no out-of-towners are going there.
Speaker 2:They don't want the Vegas experience, maybe people from the Durango.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but even then, people from the Durango are people who come, or even if they're not local, they come to Vegas all the time and they don't want to be on the strip. So there's no way they're going to make money on bottles. I mean, that place is probably going to go under, let's be honest.
Speaker 2:I hope so. The food was mids, the shots were big and their bartenders don't know what they're doing.
Speaker 1:I just want whoever owns it. I don't Whoever owns it. I hope you do great. I hope you fix what's wrong with it. I hope whatever Norm actually hopes. If not, I hope that someone who knows how to run a sports bar buys that exact location and just gets a good food menu in there and makes it like an actual sports bar and not like a gimmick.
Speaker 2:It seems like they're trying really hard.
Speaker 1:They tried to make an on-the-strip sports bar, but in the middle of Las Vegas, like in the middle of the.
Speaker 2:Southwest, next to an Ikea, yeah, like where it shouldn't be.
Speaker 1:They should have put that closer to the strip, put it in the palms or something.
Speaker 2:It was hella obnoxious, but anywho, I got this shot of bullet and it was bullet rye and she poured at least like a double rocks pour.
Speaker 1:I'm talking three ounces minimum, three and a half. I can't do that anymore, bro. If I need a second gulp, I got to set the glass down. I think I'm just too.
Speaker 2:I overestimated because I was like I only ordered, you were like I'm going to send it, yeah, and she didn't even charge me for the shot. So they got a nice tip. But I did a massive shot of bullet rye and I was just like oh, and I used to like bullet rye because it's like pretty smooth for a rye. It's not very rye forward, I guess, even though it is at least 51 because it has to be, yeah, bull rye is not crazy.
Speaker 1:It tastes very smooth. Yeah, bull rye is good, I like bull. Yeah, I like bourbon too.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh, it's a shot that'll be, but this is even smoother than that. Dude, this is crazy. This is like really sweet. I like this a lot, it's not, it's like really sweet.
Speaker 1:It is. It's very caramelly Super. I get a bunch of caramel.
Speaker 2:I'd like a bee's knees with this, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'd like a bee's knees with this Like right now.
Speaker 2:Zach, you got a Campari and Vermouth no.
Speaker 1:Sorry, yeah, I would make a Boulevardier with this and Anson, just to compare it to the Dark Rye.
Speaker 2:What about a Black Manhattan? You got Montenegro and some bitters.
Speaker 1:Averna and some bitters.
Speaker 2:Maybe I think I might have. I think I might have a Furnette.
Speaker 1:Let's make a Furnette Black Manhattan.
Speaker 2:I definitely have a Fernet, let's make a Fernet black man. I definitely have a Fernet downstairs, so we're going to go see a movie later, right? Yeah, dude, I'm hella excited. What's this?
Speaker 1:movie Boy Kills World. Boy Kills World Looks sick as fuck dude, Zach you coming to that? Yeah, you want to come tonight.
Speaker 2:We could go see a movie, we could talk about it after the pod.
Speaker 1:But yeah, what's what is?
Speaker 2:what is the movie?
Speaker 1:the movie bill scars garden. John h benjamin. Um, I don't know who either of those you know bob from bob's burgers is. You know archer, the guy who plays archer and archer?
Speaker 2:that's h john.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, h john, I thought it was john h okay um, it's probably the same, I don't know right I mean I don't know if it's middle initial or first initial, but he Bill Skarsgård. He does what's Bill Skarsgård most known for it Pennywise? Yeah, that's right, he played Pennywise. He's also in the newest it, hemlock Grove. He's the main character. The whole premise is like he's born deaf and mute so he can't hear or talk the whole movie. Deaf and mute, so he can't hear or talk the whole movie. But uh, john benjamin is his like inside monologue voice that you can hear throughout the whole movie.
Speaker 1:so it's like he's like narrating in so you hear his thoughts, but obviously he can't talk or listen yeah so, and it's like it's supposed to be a super actiony movie where he's just killing a bunch of people because they killed his parents or some shit so he's like getting revenge and stuff.
Speaker 2:It's like a hardcore Henry kind of shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's supposed to be pretty brutal, like that man In the Red Band trailer, bro, there's so much blood Like he's killing a hell of people. It looks pretty crazy.
Speaker 2:So that'd be cool and I'll pay money just to see ridiculous action sequences. Yeah, it seems like it's going to be a gratuitous. Yeah, it's just going to be filled with killing yeah, which seems, I mean, which is great.
Speaker 1:I have a lot of rage inside of me, so hopefully this gets some of it out.
Speaker 2:Yes, hopefully I watch it, I'm just like get them, you know, and then I feel better. I'm excited though fuck, don't be like that. I'm gonna be like that. I'm going to be like that. It's going to be 1030 at night at the Suncoast. That's an old people hotel.
Speaker 1:You can punch so many old people in the face and just kill them.
Speaker 2:How many old people do you think you could take out? We're talking 75. Yeah, we're talking 75. Like I got to kill them 75 plus.
Speaker 1:You got to take them out, him out do you do you think yeah, what?
Speaker 2:what age do you think someone gets to where you can kill him with one punch?
Speaker 1:uh, how old's joe biden.
Speaker 2:Oh, uh, yeah because that age I think he's like 88.
Speaker 1:So I'm gonna say I think if I punch joe biden as hard as I could, right now I'm not gonna, I might, I'm not gonna Come into my fucking hood. I think I would punch him as hard as I could. I think he would die.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So I'm going to say 85 plus is a one-hit kill, so they're 75, so they might be able to take one, the men at least.
Speaker 1:But I don't have to kill them, I just have to knock them out, you got to just knock them out, take them out of the fight.
Speaker 1:However, if you, if maybe they just have a walker and you just like so I think this is easier than fighting a million kids, because kids have way more energy than old people and they're like not. I could run for a little bit and catch my energy and then go back to find them, because they're not going to catch me right, even if it's in a cage. I'll just kite them like they're zombies. Yeah, I'll get them all thinking they have me cornered and then I I'll burrow through them knock a couple out on my way out, and then I'll sit on the other side of the cage and get my stamina back.
Speaker 2:The question with kids is that they'll be like rounds, like waves, right, but with these old people.
Speaker 1:They're just going to keep coming In between the kids. I think I could go a long time with the kids too, though.
Speaker 2:You only get like five minutes in between each round of kids.
Speaker 1:That's a decent and does it get increasingly more kids? The kids get one year older. Oh well then, yeah, but it's the same amount. Yeah, I'm probably bound out by the time. The kids are like, young, like 12 you start. You start at one I think 12 year olds would definitely cook enough.
Speaker 2:12 year olds would probably cook me give me enough one year olds, though I'll save their bones for when I'm fighting the older kids one-year-olds are so easy to kill.
Speaker 1:Probably so easy, probably no. Dude, that's my wife. She's dead ones all the time. Really, they just die for no reason. Sometimes they just get born and dead wild. Yeah, dude, they're so easy right, that's a cool job, dude, dude. It's got to be traumatizing though. Uh, for someone who wants to give birth to a child. Yeah, dude, she's like scared because she's like dude, sometimes a baby is born, they literally just die, and so, like what if we have a kid? And they just fucking die and I'm like well, then you uh that's a good question.
Speaker 1:It's scary for one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude yeah, then you owe a lot of money for no reason. Yeah, because hospital bills are.
Speaker 1:My thing is like I feel like her hospital should give her a freebie. You know, one free baby. Yeah, like you get one free birth at I think you work here.
Speaker 2:You get one free birth. You should get like insurance on your if it dies in the first week.
Speaker 1:You can take out a life insurance policy on it, like make bank yeah, type of shit, not even make bank, just like like pay for whatever, yeah, flush even, even stevens.
Speaker 2:Yeah, as well as extra money for therapy. That seems fair. Yeah, that is because that's pretty traumatizing you're paying for all doctors involved, psychiatric or physical?
Speaker 1:yeah, correct, all all medical expenses medical, yeah, I would agree, so a therapy optional.
Speaker 2:I'd be like do you need, do you want some?
Speaker 1:therapy.
Speaker 2:I'd be like you know what I'll take some free therapy with that.
Speaker 1:Some ft dudes free therapy take anything free therapy. I'd agree with that. Some FT dudes Free therapy. Take anything free. Hey, I have a question.
Speaker 2:Do you guys like my shorts? Yeah?
Speaker 1:These are the shorts Krista bought me for my birthday, and they're shorts.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I hate them.
Speaker 1:They're a brand of shorts that I maybe, and they're ridiculously expensive Can. I guess, how much they cost.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, go for it. Okay, $175. No Higher yeah, get fucked.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:They're not that cool.
Speaker 1:No, they're not supposed to be cool, they're supposed to be really well made. Oh, and some of them are crazy cool. These are actually really well made, I can feel it.
Speaker 2:It does feel nice actually, but can it survive a stabbing?
Speaker 1:uh, probably not, but it can survive, like all weather conditions. It's definitely like uh, acg, gear. You know what I'm saying. I said gear.
Speaker 2:Well, it's only all weather up until mid-calf, yeah you know, or mid-thigh, yeah, because yeah, I've wanted a pair, I've wanted a pair of stone island shorts for the longest time.
Speaker 1:I want a pair of their pants too, but their pants are fucking $250. For the shorts, yeah, they're like $280. That's nuts. She got them on sale, though, I think, for right around $190. Good girl, still nuts, still crazy. Yeah, that's why I've never bought a pair. I've wanted them for 10 years.
Speaker 2:I'm just like I can't spend that much money on shorts, yeah, um, can I be honest though?
Speaker 1:they make way cooler colors and shit, though, but I needed a pair of black shorts, and I'm glad these are now like my everyday. I like your shirt more. They have my shirt, dude and, what's crazy, there's a uniclo shirt. This shit cost me like seven dollars really, it looks really high quality yeah it.
Speaker 1:Uniqlo makes like the most high quality shit and they're dirt cheap. It's like stitched. Yeah, you should go on Uniqlo. We don't have one here in Vegas, but we should. It would make a million dollars. There's some in California. And then I actually bought this one in Japan because Uniqlo is from Japan. It's a Japanese company, but you can go online and order all their collaborations and it says I will be king of the pirates.
Speaker 1:I think yeah yeah, um, in english, which is yeah, you can go online though by all the unit. I think uniclo has all their collaborate. Do that. I have a pretty cool jabs I have a chainsaw man t-shirt made by uniclo. There's a there's like they do hella cool collaborate. I heard that too. I just don't know what it is. I think there was kids playing in the neighborhood.
Speaker 2:When I pulled up it was mano yelling off to one of the okay, um, um, but uh.
Speaker 1:But yeah, they have hella cool collaborations and they probably have the best quality shit and it's dirt cheap. They're like it's literally like seven bucks for a t-shirt. It's pretty crazy yeah yeah, yeah. So, uh, stone, I'm going to probably end up buying more Like the IPA Like same name, not the same company, though. Wow, that'd be cool yeah, that would be really cool actually if they made a beer If they just made shorts that were $280 and also beer and beer. That'd be cool.
Speaker 2:Reasonably priced beer too.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. I almost bought a salt beer today because there was a. I saw this beer at top shelf that was called top it was called like cinnamon american, something, something, but the cinnamon was spelled like sin, but it the label was cinnamon toast crunch and I was like if this beer tastes like cinnamon, cinnamon Toast Crunch, that would be sick. Was it a milk stout? I didn't know. It was like a lager Interesting, but I was super curious about it but I didn't buy it because I saw this.
Speaker 2:I thought you said this was a beer and not some guy chopping down trees Lager, hardly newer. Yeah, we got it Zach.
Speaker 1:Did you ever used to watch those competitions on ESPN? Which ones, the logger competitions, the lumberjack shit, where dudes used to climb the tree with the little thing, yeah, and then they'd do the spinning thing, and then they'd have the chomping competition. Bro, or the dual saw competition Bro. They used to air that shit on ESPN and it was tight as fuck. I, bro, or the dual saw competition bro. They used to air that shit on a usb and it was tight as fuck.
Speaker 2:I used to watch that shit, sometimes when I was getting ready for school, I'd be walking. None of you motherfuckers know what it's like out there. I've seen it. I saw some shit like that when I was in scotland. But they were, uh, they were just tossing tree stump like like full like over their head, right, yeah, that's like a Scottish sport, right?
Speaker 1:oh, yeah, it's. I don't know what it's called. It was in luck of the. It was in luck of the Irish too the basketball movie, yeah you know where they get, where they're like playing basketball the whole time yeah and he's like well, he's like, I'll challenge you to the people the games of our people. And then it transports them to fucking Ireland and then they play all these dumb games. One of of them was a stump throwing thing.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe I just saw it in Ireland then, I don't know, I was pretty drunk, yeah, but it was cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, that shit's tight. Dude, you gotta be so strong to lift a whole fucking tree and throw it over your head Like that shit's crazy those are men, you have to be strong as fuck to be able to lift a tree.
Speaker 2:That's a primal competition. Right there, I'm gonna pick up tree and the other.
Speaker 1:Competition is like it's like shot put, but super prehistoric. It's like you just throw a stone, yeah, as far as you can, um. And then there's like dude, they got a hell of crazy shit. I'd be lucky the irish bro. What a great movie it's not dead yeah, bring it back, though well yeah, give me one dude.
Speaker 2:why almost who Owen Wilson Dude?
Speaker 1:why Owen Wilson? Who was the guy? Who's the guy that plays the elf in that movie? I feel like he's in other shit randomly. Who Like that guy that plays the elf in Lucky the Irish or the sorry the fucking leprechaun? I said elf Leprechaun the Keebler elf. I said elf Leprechaun the Keebler elf. I've seen him randomly in like a TV show or a movie as like some random support role.
Speaker 2:He's just like popped up. Yeah, cars 2 with Owen Wilson. You were thinking of Owen Wilson guys. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, wow. Honestly dude, I don't think I've seen an Owen Wilson movie that I don't like this is the Leprechaun right? I don't think I've seen an Odin Wilson movie that I don't like. This is the leprechaun right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's him. He's in Psych.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's not it. And Psych 2. Keep going, keep going.
Speaker 2:And Psych 3.
Speaker 1:He popped up in some TV show I was watching and I was like, oh shit, that's the fucking. Percy Jackson show I did watch Criminal Minds for a little while.
Speaker 2:Starship Troopers. It might have been that.
Speaker 1:Maybe keep going though.
Speaker 2:Xena Princess, Warrior, Mission Impossible 3. Definitely have seen Mission.
Speaker 1:Impossible 3 more than once.
Speaker 2:A bunch of psych shit. He was really big in psych apparently.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he must have been a reoccurring character, must have been an important one. Yeah, maybe it was Criminal Minds I used to watch criminal minds ever shows. So often might have been that I watched criminal minds quite a bit. Yeah, quite a bit. I used to watch the mentalist. You ever used to watch the mentalist. That show was fire dude.
Speaker 2:Well, because it came on like right after psych I there's also like the uh, what was it? White collar something? Maybe it was just called white collar white collar detective something, yeah, detective maybe yeah, maybe there's some pretty cool crime shows out there.
Speaker 1:I don't watch a lot of those though no like.
Speaker 2:Especially monk was fun.
Speaker 1:You see that new the new netflix show called like dead brothers, detectives or whatever. That's coming out sounds stupid is it wait?
Speaker 2:can I guess? Can I guess? Based off the title alone, I know know nothing about the show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure.
Speaker 2:It's about two brothers. One of them died tragically and is a ghost and is helping the other one solve crimes.
Speaker 1:I don't know if they're both dead or if only one of them's dead or if they can just deal with the supernatural, but yeah, they just solve shit to deal with this supernatural world.
Speaker 2:They're yeah, they just solve like they just solve shit to deal with this supernatural world it looked kind of interesting, though I like the way the trailer was shot, so the brother can only he can only see one ghost, and the ghost is his brother, and his brother follows him around everywhere he goes and it's just like an extra pair of eyes and he's like looking behind people and he's like hey, there's another ghost over here. I'm going to talk to him and give you some information. Maybe I don't know, Sounds dumb. The trailer was shot. Really cool, though this sounds like. What was that show with Rick Glassman?
Speaker 1:Oh, Fuck the yeah.
Speaker 2:Where she can talk to dead people?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's because she writes eulogies Right, so she can talk to dead people. Ghostwriter no, it's called like.
Speaker 2:Ghostwriter it's called like.
Speaker 1:Ah, nick Cage, I was thinking of Ghostwriter, it's called like Fuck, this is going to piss me off. It's going to piss me off.
Speaker 2:I watched like the first three episodes and I was like this is not my show.
Speaker 1:It's okay, it's a super, it's so okay it's the most okay show I've watched. It's okay they already got approved for, like their third season, though I think I heard Ray Glassman saying on his podcast which is wild because it again.
Speaker 2:I watched the first three episodes and I was like, yeah, episodes, yeah, but you gotta think there's a whole older generation of us, though, that, like, still cares about broadcast television. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:Like that's all they watch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I suppose. So we want woo-woo, we want woo-woo, we want woo-woo, we want woo-woo, we want woo-woo. You can just type in Rick Glassman, probably, probably, and go to his IMDb Not dead yet, not dead yet I mean, I do kind of like the concept of the show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when she's riding the eulogy. She can talk to the dead person. It's fun, which is like a cool concept and Cece's in it and she's fucking hot.
Speaker 2:She's not even the hottest person on New Girl.
Speaker 1:Olivia Munn was the correct answer.
Speaker 2:Olivia Munn also. They're both above Cece. Brenda Song is also on New Girl. Brenda Song is also above Cece. Cece's really hot, though Zooey Deschanel under Cece.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Zooey Deschanel might be the least attractive girl on that show. No, Caroline is probably the least attractive girl on that show. No, Caroline is probably the least attractive girl on that show.
Speaker 2:Nick's first girlfriend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, he went from Caroline to Megan Fox Like the fuck.
Speaker 2:Back down to Zooey Deschanel. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:He met somewhere in the middle. Good for him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, fawn Moscato.
Speaker 1:Oh dude, max Greenfield was also in Futile and Stupid Gesture. Yeah yeah, he popped out of nowhere and I was like, oh shit, it's Max Greenfield. I was like that's hella tight. Yeah, that movie was hella cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was really.
Speaker 1:They're making. I don't know if it's out already or not, but Lamar Morris and Ray Glassman are both in the movie about the very first SNL group too. Group too.
Speaker 2:Oh, that'll be fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I forget what it's called, but I thought it was funny that, like that SNL group is like kinda in Futon Supergesture. Yeah, they're making another movie about that. Yeah, because they have a dude play Lorne Michaels. Chris was like who's Lorne Michaels? I was like you ever seen SNL. She was like yeah, and I was like that's him.
Speaker 2:Well, he owns the WWE Well he owns a WWE.
Speaker 1:Yeah, different guy, don't worry about that Sonal, but yeah, so if that movie's not out, I'm excited for that movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's not really any movies I'm excited for. That's not 1975.
Speaker 1:Are you?
Speaker 2:sure about that? No, not really. But I think that there's no movies I'm excited about. I'll let you know after tonight when I watch a bunch of trailers. I like watching trailers for movies in the theater and no other times. Don't give me ads.
Speaker 1:But yeah Well, I don't even think it does not have a release date. Are you sure Dylan O'Brien is playing Dan Aykroyd?
Speaker 2:That seems weird to me. Who's Dylan O'Brien this?
Speaker 1:kid he, dan Aykroyd? That seems weird to me who's Dylan O'Brien?
Speaker 2:This kid.
Speaker 1:He's in. He's in In Maze Runner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, teen Wolf.
Speaker 1:He's not a Dan Aykroyd type to me.
Speaker 2:I did not like Maze Runner.
Speaker 1:Why JK Sillings and Willem Dafoe are in it. That's fire Gang gang. Why didn't you like Maze Runner?
Speaker 2:I don't know, it just wasn't really for me.
Speaker 1:Finn Wolfhard is in it.
Speaker 2:I like the first Maze Runner because it was them running through the maze and I was like, oh, I like anything with a labyrinth, and then they escape and then the story got boring and I'm going to be honest yeah, that's fair. The first one I did enjoy, though, because I like labyrinth stuff. I don't know why, I don't know what it is about the concept of people being murdered in a labyrinth, but I like it. Getting trapped in a maze, that's terrifying.
Speaker 1:I wonder if this is the same guy who played Lorne Michaels in. Deadly Maze.
Speaker 2:It's not just any maze man you can't just make it out whenever you want. You can't make it out at all.
Speaker 1:Except they did make it.
Speaker 2:Spoiler alert if you haven't seen a movie from 2016,. They did make it out of the maze. That movie was earlier than 2016,. Right, probably, probably, more like 2014? 2013? 2012? No, no, no, I think we saw it together in theaters. I don't know. Maze Runner was pretty okay.
Speaker 1:The first one was pretty okay. It might have been, I think I might, oh man, the first one was 2014. No, I still probably like Hunger Games better. Yeah, for sure, the first two Hunger Games are so good, but when they split that third one up in two parts, I was like you're ruining it, did not need to do it.
Speaker 2:They were only doing it because Harry Potter was doing it Twilight was doing it but Twilight, harry Potter, big books, those are like 700 plus page books.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude.
Speaker 2:Hunger Games wasn't that big. Hunger Games was not that big of a book.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, there was like 45 minutes of her yelling pita, pita. What was this? An episode of family guy pita? That was good. Hey, come on. Thank you, that's fucking good dude. Thank you, come on, come on.
Speaker 2:Uh, come on, but yeah, no, I didn't even watch the last two. I didn't even watch mocking mocking j, I didn't even watch Mockingjay.
Speaker 1:I watched them both the first part's hella disappointing, the second part's good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wonder what that new one's about.
Speaker 1:It's a prequel oh yeah, it's a show, though, right or no, it's a movie.
Speaker 2:It's also based on a book that she wrote after the original trilogy that takes place before Okay. Obviously because it has to, because they have to have that Well, they're doing a lot of prequels right now.
Speaker 1:They're getting out of that. They're doing a prequel to Transformers with the animated movie. They're doing a prequel to Mad Max with Furiosa.
Speaker 2:That's a prequel yeah. It's supposed to be like super young Charlize Theron, because some other chick plays her.
Speaker 1:I forget who it is. She's freaking bad. As hell too, Charlize.
Speaker 2:Theron is king. Get it. Charlize Theron is my dad's ultimate crush.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's been hot for so long. She's still hot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, charlize Theron is my Margot Robbie she's playing the new Strange too.
Speaker 1:Remember at the end Was that Multiverse of Madness that she popped up, Yep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she's playing the new Dr Strange. Well, his wife who will become? Who will become Dr Strange? Yeah, Depending on how they want to do that storyline. They got to do that though.
Speaker 1:She would be such a good Dr Strange. That is my dad's Margot Robbie. Yeah, she's hot as fuck, dude.
Speaker 2:She's still hot as fuck dude. She's from South Africa. Isn South Africa, Isn't that cool? A lot of white people are from South Africa. Elon Musk South Africa Isn't that also pretty cool? Richest guy in the world.
Speaker 1:Anya Taylor-Joy. She's, she's. I don't like her face, I do it pisses me off. I get it. It looks like a triangle. Yes, it does. She looks like Her lips are disproportionate to how wide her top. That's so small.
Speaker 2:She looks like the female lizard.
Speaker 1:in Rango I saw a picture where those two, she looks like a hammerhead shark as a human.
Speaker 2:She looks like the sloth from Ice Age as a human.
Speaker 1:A lot of the cast of mad max is in it, though. Tom hardy's in it, uh, nicholas holtz in it um, she looks like yeah, facts, big facts.
Speaker 2:I remember when snow white and the huntsman came out.
Speaker 1:Charlize theron was in that a lot, char. Charlize Theron was fucking hot.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, look, is that her now? This is her now, bro. Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bro, look at that shit.
Speaker 2:She's banging his head. She's banging his head, charlize Theron, and she's funny. She was in A Million Ways to Die in the West. Yeah, she was pretty funny in that. Pretty hot too. She got a good sense of humor. I'd love to kiss her on the mouth with my mouth.
Speaker 1:Another girl who's old and hot.
Speaker 2:With consent.
Speaker 1:Fucking. Jennifer Aniston has like a new ad campaign for something on YouTube. It's something, but it shows up on YouTube all the time. I'm always just like God damn, she still looks hella good dude.
Speaker 2:She's still got it. She's still got it. She's got a lot of work to do.
Speaker 1:Her and the horrible bosses. Bro, she's just a horny dentist and I was like dude, that is so fucking hot. Dude, tee me up, fucking. Give me some laughing gas, doc.
Speaker 2:You cheating on your wife with Jennifer Aniston.
Speaker 1:No, I don't think I would.
Speaker 2:Dude that.
Speaker 1:Olivia Munn for sure.
Speaker 2:like that's, given that's your hall pass, yeah, for sure dude Zach, your hall passes or um, or passes, or yeah olivian munder.
Speaker 1:Um uh, snow, allegro bro, fucking doja cat. Doja cat's a little weird. She posted her titties on instagram the other day, though, so I can just beat it to that if I really want to like, if I'm desperate yeah, but like she coming on to you with the club, why are you?
Speaker 2:yeah, doja, doja.
Speaker 1:Doja Cat. I think Doja Cat I could fuck, because Krista would also want to fuck her. So we just have a threesome with her and Doja Cat would definitely be down for that.
Speaker 2:Doja Cat puts a hand on Krista's chest. What do you mean Like you try to bring Krista into the bedroom and Doja Cat puts a hand on her chest, Like babe, can I?
Speaker 1:And she'd probably be like, yeah, I guess. And I'd be like all right, all right, cool, fuck, don't just get it. Snow. Allegra's bad though you know who she is, she's a singer. She's super hot, though.
Speaker 2:No, but I do feel that way about her. The Snow Allegra Hell yeah, she's fucking hot there. She can get it. I want you around, I want you around. She's more, she's thicker than a snicker Around around. She's like fuck dude, I'm fucking yeah, fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:And she's very talented.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1:Tiger Woods was on the Jimmy Fallon show tonight.
Speaker 2:Love that guy.
Speaker 1:Sunday Red.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we got to go to his new mini golf course, Pop Stroke dude.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we should go, I'm hella down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds fun.
Speaker 1:I'm super down to go to Pop Stroke.
Speaker 2:Manna wants to go to that too. Let's fucking go putt.
Speaker 1:Let's do it on Tuesday.
Speaker 2:I said putt putt, Go to Pop Stroke after I'm down.
Speaker 1:Let's make it happen. Let's shake and bake it. Dude, your socks reminded me Keegan's wearing Venom socks for all those listening.
Speaker 1:For all those fucking little foot fuckers out there. I was buying at the card show when I was at, so they actually had a lot of comics at the card show and I got a decent amount of Scotty Young covers. But this guy had a venom issue one cover where it's like scotty young's drawing a venom, licking a spider-man ice pop. Have you seen that cover? No, it's like a pretty popular cover. Um then, I might have seen it. So right, when we got on the card show I saw it. I was like how much are you asking? He was like how much are you asking? He was like 75. Graded or no, it wasn't graded. That's how it's like.
Speaker 1:I knew about it beforehand and I was like that's pretty sought. After coming and I saw 75 is not bad. Maybe he asked for 65. It was something like that, though Anywhere from a 65, 75. Somewhere in that range he asked for. And I was like all right, for sure I'll be back, because I literally first thing I it was like one of the first two things I saw when I walk in I was like I want to see what all is there, so I know like what I'm spending my money on. Yeah, because we like did a lap first and then after the lap we're like all right, we know, oh, Dua Lipa, another person.
Speaker 2:I would cheat on my wife with Dua.
Speaker 1:Lipa it's so hot.
Speaker 2:I wish you'd hump my leg like that Fuck, just my leg, just your leg.
Speaker 1:And your cock. Okay, but yeah. So I saw it walked around and then we were getting near the end of the day and I was like, oh man, do I want to buy another Venus War card? I was like I'll go see if that Scotty Young's still there and I walked and it was gone and I was super fucking sad about it I was like, because if it was there I would have bought that for sure. Yeah that would have been cool, but instead I bought that graded Mint 9 Erica's Venusaur. Jim said too.
Speaker 2:Got nine. You just had a nice piece. I'm pretty happy I have that card, but I almost wish I had that I didn't get the memo that we were wearing black little gay shorts today, you're wearing black little gay shorts today.
Speaker 1:you're wearing black little gay pants today, though, so you're right there black big gay pants no, they're not that big. They look like they fit correctly big gay pants what makes them gay?
Speaker 2:I don't know the same thing. I don't know you. You're the one who called them gay. No, you called them gay.
Speaker 1:You said you're wearing little gay pants you said I was wearing little gay shorts so I are. So I was just reiterating Right, just to make you feel included.
Speaker 2:Oh, so they're not gay.
Speaker 1:I don't know. You tell me, because I don't know why my shorts are gay, really yeah, why are my shorts gay?
Speaker 2:They look like when you wear them. You look like you like boys.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm cool with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't say there's anything wrong with that, do they? You're starting to make it seem like you have an issue with gay people, Norm, and I'm not cool with that. Zach, do you?
Speaker 1:feel gay wearing your shorts.
Speaker 2:No, never. Yeah, I don't feel gay wearing my shorts either. Huh.
Speaker 1:Do you feel gay wearing your shorts?
Speaker 2:No. Zach, you want a Do you feel gay wearing your shorts? No, never, not once in my life. Do you feel gay when you're not wearing your shorts?
Speaker 1:Yes, All right, once in your life.
Speaker 2:I'm like don't look, yeah, man. Well, they say being gay is a choice and I'm choosing to be gay. I think you should, man, I think you should give dudes a try.
Speaker 1:Women are dumb dude. Yeah, what's the worst that happens that you actually like guys and you are gay.
Speaker 2:I think the worst that happens is getting fucked in the ass. I think that's the worst.
Speaker 1:You don't know, because when have you ever been fucked in the ass by a guy?
Speaker 2:By a guy, never. So, also not by a woman. How do you?
Speaker 1:know. How do you know?
Speaker 2:What if you feel his on your hips and you're like, ah, this is it right here, like have you?
Speaker 1:ever you you've heard that louis ck bit where he's like isn't it crazy that straight guys are in the minority in the entire world? As in, we've never sucked a dick, but most people in the world have? Yeah, because there's more women than anyone in the world. And then take a percentage of men that are gay and suck dick, we're in the strong minority of people who never sucked a dick. There's a lot of people out there sucking cock, that's true. There's probably even straight guys who are crackheads who've sucked dick.
Speaker 2:Probably, yeah, yeah, probably.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying, so like we're really in a deep minority.
Speaker 2:That's tight dude. Wait, you guys have never sucked a dick right?
Speaker 1:Never I feel like I should hands in.
Speaker 2:We're sucking dick no, no, no, no, we're not. We're staying in the minority. Oh, all right, no, dick sucking on three no dick sucking on me one, two, three no dick sucking, you don't sound excited about that.
Speaker 1:I might want to suck one one day for money or for fun? No, like if chris ends it with me, oh you'll you'll go to dudes too, maybe. I'll suck a dick. I might just spiral. Yeah, I might just suck a dick Just spiral down and just suck a dick.
Speaker 2:Hey, let's all be gay now and just start. No thanks, what do you mean Immediately?
Speaker 1:What's wrong with that, Zach? Think about how easy it is to be gay.
Speaker 2:Especially if it was all of us.
Speaker 1:Dude. Imagine if we just married each other. It'd be like I now pronounce you, chuck and Larry Dude, you could walk in my room anytime and be like, hey, norman, give me that ass. And I'd be like, say less, brother. I'd be like I bet motherfucker.
Speaker 2:Free use policy in this household?
Speaker 1:Yeah dude Free use. Pornos are so cool still.
Speaker 2:They're starting to get washed.
Speaker 1:No, I like them still. I don't like them, it depends. I like the ones where it's like a household and it's like the dad and the mom and the daughter.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And then he just starts fucking both of them whenever he wants, and then they have a friend over for the weekend, yeah and he's fucking them too, yep, and I'm like dude, fuck, yeah, he does yeah, I. I like those when the women just completely ignore him the entire time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like they just keep having a conversation. He's just railing them right in the fucking cooter sometimes.
Speaker 2:Sometimes they like acknowledge him, though, and they'll like get into it, and I'm like I no longer like, so I like that at the end.
Speaker 1:I like it to get through the video and then it like amount to like a big threesome where they're all just like actually fucking. Yeah, cause that's when I bust, not for me, yeah, just the rest of it gets me really going, you know, Sure yeah. And then when they get to the, the actual sex, I'm like I could come.
Speaker 2:Zach, how are we doing on time here? Buddy, I just got to ask how we doing on time 43 minutes. Hey, we can end it. Yeah, we made it. No, we did 43 minutes.
Speaker 1:We made it. I do have to eat before we see this movie, because I haven't eaten since. Like what do you want to eat, buddy? Probably just go to the bar or something like that. Go somewhere quick. Oh, we have to go to.
Speaker 2:Suncoast I got to drop my dog off at home, but what's?
Speaker 1:by what's well. Your home is on the way to Suncoast.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, there's something. There's something. By the Suncoast we could go to Seto. But wait, keep doing what you're trying to think. What's Seto Bellas?
Speaker 1:does have have. You had cocktails at Seto Bellas. Yeah, Pretty fire. I've been there. I've not been disappointed.
Speaker 2:A little more money than I'm trying to spend. No, I agree with that. I'm trying to save money. I already spent Bro.
Speaker 1:We went to Bahamar. It was seafood tacos First of all. Fire ass seafood tacos Really good, maybe the best in the city. Honestly, I'll say best seafood tacos in the city. Waho's is Waho's. Waho's is good for like late night. Nothing's open. Go get some seafood. It'll be gas, but Bahamar's like dude. The quality there is so fucking good. But like me and Chris that ate there three tacos each on taco Tuesday, by the way. So they're like $1.50 off three tacos each appetizer and two, by the way, so they're like a dollar fifty off three tacos each uh appetizer and two micheladas. It was fucking like ninety dollars.
Speaker 1:Go, fuck yourself, go but loki nah, it's worth it like a hundred percent. I'd pay for it again like it's.
Speaker 2:It's hella good. Ninety dollars on taco tuesday yeah, it was.
Speaker 1:It felt a lot here. Actually, let me, I can tell you the exact price I paid with my Apple card, so it'll literally play right here, including tip, yeah including tip $89.30. Including tip Eat my butt. I tip 22% too, because our server was really cool.
Speaker 2:Eat my butt. Why don't you lick my butt?
Speaker 1:But it's hella worth it, hella worth it. Super fire.
Speaker 2:Give my butt a bite Eat, my butt. You want some ranch?
Speaker 1:You want some ranch?
Speaker 2:You want some ranch from my butt?
Speaker 1:I want some ranch, but yeah, we can go eat, we'll go somewhere. Cool, I'll just probably follow you to your house and go somewhere, so we just drive together too.
Speaker 2:Did you drive here?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying. Like I can just follow you to your house and one of us can drive.
Speaker 1:That's cool.
Speaker 2:You guys like us discussing our plans on the podcast dude.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is tight. No, this is good content. People are curious. You really want to know what our real life is like. People want to know what we do. You know what I'm saying. People want to know how we live.
Speaker 2:And just like real life. Like we invited Zach on the podcast, I don't want him to come.
Speaker 1:Bro, wait, let me talk about this fucking experience. I think you worked the day this happened. Yeah, because I think I told you. Tell me why I've just been getting weird people at the bar, like just weirdos, they're not mean, they're not mean, they're not rude, they're just strange, like with strange people. So there's a night I yeah, it had to be me and keegan, because I was on the fucking, I was on the service side of the well oh, I remember this guy it was a girl that I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:You probably have another story, though, because we've been getting weird people in at the bar. It's just been weird, um. So I was in the back. It was really slow. I come from the back, walking towards the bar, and I see I have two new customers on my side of the bar. They're sitting on seats one and two, the first two seats of the bar. So it was pretty loud in the restaurant. It just always is If there's people in the restaurant it's loud. You can hear them talking, you can hear the music, everything.
Speaker 1:So I walk up to the side of the bar because I can stand closer to the people on one and two, so I can hear them better, right? So I walk up, stand on the side of the bar, I go hey, how's it going? And I get completely ignored by this lady. Doesn't even look at me, right? I go are you doing all right here, ma'am? And she goes oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm just going to order a drink here, ma'am. And she goes oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm just gonna order a drink. And I was like yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:And then she proceeds to ignore me again and I was like. I was like do you want something to drink? And she goes, yeah, yeah, I'll order a drink. And she just starts laughing and I'm like you can go ahead and order that cocktail whenever you. And and she was like with you. I was like I am a bartender here. And she goes, oh Okay, I was like you want to see a cocktail list or something? And she's like, yeah, that'd be nice. And I was like okay, and so I handed this oblivion. She just thought I was like making conversation, I guess.
Speaker 2:You know, when you go to bars and you go, hey, are you going to drink Just to random people at the bar?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, she just thought I was like an employee making conversation.
Speaker 2:I guess, yeah, I'm going to order, and you're like, okay, and I was like what is happening right now.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, dude.
Speaker 2:Dude, I was like this is crazy you ooze sex appeal.
Speaker 1:And that's what it was. She was like oh fuck, like you were like hey, how's it going? No, she was like I'm a fucking dummy.
Speaker 2:She's like, yeah, she was either really wet or she pissed on the bar stool yeah, she probably pissed on the bar stool, yeah, and drooled all over it, dude let me try to move this like made no sense.
Speaker 1:I was like I'm literally directly talking to you at a restaurant and you just assume I'm not your server. Oh brother, this guy sticks even me, bro. Even if that was someone I would have tried to put in my drink order, like even if I was a server, right, if I was a patron at a bar and someone came up to me like that and was like hey, man, you doing all right here, I'd be like oh yeah, is it possible, can I get a Stella or something? Even if it wasn't a bartender. And then that guy probably would have been like yeah, I'll let your bartender know, right? So why did she just laugh?
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially if you're doubling back to confirm yeah, I'm like, what is it? I was literally like what is happening right now.
Speaker 2:This is crazy. You can put in that drink order anytime. She said ha ha ha. Yeah, she was like yeah for sure.
Speaker 1:She literally thought it was a bit this guy's a fucking jokester dude. Yeah, this guy's a fucking jokester. She was like dude. That's fucking crazy. You guys do an open mic here because you're funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, we should do an open mic at Nora's. I have so many jokes about pasta. You want to hear a couple?
Speaker 1:Hasta la pasta.
Speaker 2:Penne pasta More like penis pasta.
Speaker 1:Can I get a laugh track on here? Let me try the booze.
Speaker 2:Linguini more like long weenie. Come on long weenie.
Speaker 1:That's two for two. Spaghetti alright, fettuccine, more like fetish genie, genie, fetish genie. Give me three wishes, I'll make them fetishes, alright.
Speaker 2:Ritone more like bitch blow me come on, come on. I was gonna say uh, rigabone me.
Speaker 1:Hey, one of my favorite trends on the internet right now is that thing where it's like the genie when he looks at me when I use my third wish for such and such. Have you seen those?
Speaker 2:yeah, dude because I said sloppy syrupy for a job.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, I posted one on my fucking story and then I and I told my wife to go look at it because it's like the genie or yeah, it was like the genie looking at me when he knows my wife is terminally ill and I use my third wish for a box combo with no slaw extra toast, a third box combo with extra I.
Speaker 1:I was like, bro, that's so fucking dumb, it's so dumb, it was so funny. I love shit like that dude Diddle-eeny, innately dumb shit. Or like little weenie Diddle-eeny. More like doomy, more like diddle kids. Yeah, more like diddle, my little weenie. Oh man, all right, I feel like we've got more weird customers, though what did you think I was gonna talk about?
Speaker 2:you said some dude. Yeah, I thought it was gonna be also one and two. I can't remember what the guy did, though that was weird. He was just like being a dick the whole time and the wife was being cool as hell oh, was that the, the dude who tried to order the brand xeno?
Speaker 1:maybe that one did it talk about that and then it was his wife's birthday yeah yeah, there, do there. Yeah, there's a day where, like this, couple came in and sat down I think rudy was there, though, and I just told you this story, because I don't think you were there that now, it was the night that I was definitely there and you came over and you're like these fucking guys maybe this is still weird, though I'll tell this because so there's two people that sat down on the bar and they were like having a good time.
Speaker 1:They're totally normal. I'm pretty sure this is with rudy and uh maybe he's with me.
Speaker 1:No, it was with rudy and uh, and so they're sitting there having a good time. The wife gets up to go to the bathroom. But the husband knows what they want to order, right. So the husband goes to order and we had ran out of Branzino that night. It was like a Friday night and we'd already sold like 20 Branzinos before it was even like 7 o'clock. So we're out, right, kitchen's out, they don't have any more prepped. So the guy is like, yeah, I'll have the chicken parmesan and my wife's going to have a Branzino. And Rudy goes oh, I'm sorry, we're out. And he goes what do you mean?
Speaker 2:you're out, it's 7 30, you're out of branzino.
Speaker 1:I remember at 7 30 on a friday different guy and rudy's like hey, man, I'm, yeah, I'm sorry, and he goes well, it's my wife's birthday. This is ridiculous. He's like I can't fucking believe this. Can I speak to a manager like how do you not have branzino right now? And then his wife comes back from the bathroom. He goes babe, they're out of branzino. And she goes oh, that's fine, I'll just get a chicken piccata. And now this guy looks like a fucking raging asshole. The rest of the night everyone's like dude, you're a fucking dickhead. Your wife deserves so much better than who you are and then I, I fucked that.
Speaker 1:She was like yeah she was no king and then king wasn't there.
Speaker 2:I took that, I took that girl home I I fucked that she was like, yeah, she was no king, and then he wasn't there. I took that girl home and I fucked that guy's wife.
Speaker 1:But like dude, he was like. I was like there's no way you're like this and your wife is chill like that. You know what I'm saying? I didn't know she was chill like that though jeremy from south beach, florida.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, dill hole dog.
Speaker 1:yeah, I was like there's no way you're mad like that, bro. Like Like you want to like fight Rudy Like he's ready to like throw. First of all, rudy would have fucked this guy up dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Rudy's got a meat hammer yeah.
Speaker 1:Rudy would have dieseled this guy. Second of all your wife's so nice man. She was like, yeah, it's okay, I'll just get my second option.
Speaker 2:He was roiding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, he was a fucking dill weed dude, he was a fucking dill weed.
Speaker 2:All right, we're going to, we're going to. You want to talk about the glass of milk guy? No, I fucking hate glass. One time somebody insulted me by saying you look like the kind of motherfucker that drinks milk with his spaghetti, and that one just hit home for me.
Speaker 1:Hey bro, tell me, why have you seen his handwriting?
Speaker 2:no check, no dude, it looks like a fifth grader dude gives me five dollars.
Speaker 1:I can't wait for him to leave I went up to kyle I was like hey, man, doesn't this look like the handwriting of a guy who drinks milk with his pasta? And kyle started dying bro. He's like yes, yes, it does such a legendary insult.
Speaker 2:feel free to take that, put it in your pocket, go use it day to day. You know what, if you're listening, still somehow get yourself, bro, if you're like a six-year-old.
Speaker 1:If you're a six-year-old kid and you're drinking milk with your meal, I respect you because your parents are just trying to help you build strong bones. If you're a 45, your pasta fucking what I hear. Milk helps with strong boners, thank you.