Please Drink Responsibly
Three friends that are here to educate you about the world of beverage in an inviting and easy to listen to way. Without taking ourselves too seriously we also aim to inform the listener about very interesting spirits and liquors, all while drinking them down... responsibly of course.
Please Drink Responsibly
Ep. 129 | Blackout Drunk Man
Ask us anything, we know it all!
What if a superhero could save the world while perpetually intoxicated? Meet "Blackout Drunk Man," the hilariously absurd hero we heard of as we kicked off this laugh-filled episode. We then dive into our Instagram antics, where our foot photo escapades cater to our unique "weird foot people" following. Expect some light-hearted ribbing aimed at Zach, who has long-time streaming subscriptions but never actually streams, and join us as we brainstorm ways to better engage with you, our beloved listeners, on social media.
Next, we get into the age-old debate over leftover alcohol, with Zach lamenting his collection of party seltzers. Our chat takes us to the sunny streets of Vegas, reminiscing about a mouthwatering steak and eggs breakfast, and rolling on the floor as we humorously dismiss the absurd idea of trying meth. We also touch on the dynamics of supportive relationships, laugh our way through Twitch streaming chaos, and imagine the pandemonium caused by a mischievous mod.
Finally, the conversation takes a whimsical turn as we envision ourselves as action figures, complete with detachable limbs and quirky accessories. Norm's all about basketballs and Xbox controllers, while Zach's multidimensional Walkman steals the show. From nostalgic video games to sommelier certification challenges, and even the quirks of wedding speech drinking games, this episode is a rollercoaster of laughs, camaraderie, and unexpected twists. Tune in for all the hilarity and heart!
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Welcome to you.
Speaker 2:Got Mail the manliest podcast on the internet. That was really good. Man, that was really good. Last time I was sober I killed a baby.
Speaker 1:Yeah, same.
Speaker 2:Was it you?
Speaker 1:that sent me the drunk man thing, right, I don't know, the blackout drunk man. No, you didn't send that I don't know is that a yalla then?
Speaker 2:or maybe I saw that, was it a superhero?
Speaker 1:yeah blackout drunk man, yeah no every time he gets blackout drunk, he like saves people and shit and so the government recruits him to start saving people. But they like equip him with like an ivy filled with like bourbon yeah and he's just always black the fuck out, but he like does good for the entire world that's why, yeah, he's blackout junk.
Speaker 2:Man sounds like a cool now. This is now this is a marvel movie I'd make my way to see.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, the hero we need, but the hero we need, but the hero we deserve. Wait, yeah, yep, I'll be blackout junk man right now.
Speaker 2:All right, welcome to you. Got Mail, the sexiest podcast on the internet, and we are also the manliest podcast on the internet. You're fucking chugging a brew with Keegan, norm and Stu and Zach and the crew and the crew with the crew you're chugging a brew with the crew zach, you fuck that one up dude, you know.
Speaker 2:Good job, keegan. The fuck it do. I was just going off the cuff there. I was just going off the cuff and sometimes a bunch of filthy Sucking on my poo Eating my shoes. Excuse me while I start to mew.
Speaker 1:Hey, for all our weird foot people On YouTube, me and Keegan post pictures of our feet On our Instagram. Go, follow us.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, sometimes. It's only under my close friends, though, so you gotta be my close friends I don't even post on close friends.
Speaker 1:But I am private, so you do have to request to follow me, but I'll approve you if you send me a DM and just say I'm a you Got Mail guy and I'll be like all right and yeah, and I also post pictures of my feet.
Speaker 2:No, he doesn't?
Speaker 1:He's lying. Yes, I doed the other night, yeah for the first time in like seven months. It was nice.
Speaker 2:I didn't watch it, but.
Speaker 1:I heard good things.
Speaker 2:Dude, I keep, he had viewers.
Speaker 1:It's because I get the mail notification that I'm subscribed to Zach and I already paid and I'm like, well, I'll just wait until later to unsubscribe from him, since he doesn't fucking stream. And then I wait, and then I get the mail notification again and I'm like, fuck, there goes another $5. You know.
Speaker 2:I know this is not.
Speaker 1:You better buy a nice bottle with all that money.
Speaker 2:I know this is not what you want to hear right now, Norm, but I am really going to start streaming again.
Speaker 1:You're not. You're not no.
Speaker 2:I swear, though You're such a liar.
Speaker 1:No, I swear though, because, honestly, let's see how long I've been subscribed to Zach I just hit four years.
Speaker 2:I realized that, so I've given you $5 every month for the past four years. That's impossible. I'm two years.
Speaker 1:That's impossible. I'm two years, 24 months, Well two years is practical. Yeah, because I subscribed to him the very first time he was able to be subscribed to, when he got affiliate. Yeah, so you might have been following him for four years Maybe, but he only hit affiliate two years ago, you might have been following me for a while.
Speaker 2:How do you?
Speaker 1:check. You. Go to your profile.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:And then you click on your top left, your little picture, and then you hit subscriptions and then you hit Prismac.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess it is two years. All right, so you heard it here first.
Speaker 1:Don't subscribe to Prismac on Twitch because he does not fucking stream.
Speaker 2:It's a scam.
Speaker 1:It's a fucking scam.
Speaker 2:Go follow Prismac on Twitch, go follow someone who streams, go, follow, like Kriparian.
Speaker 2:And if you tell me to show my feet on stream, I probably would. Oh yeah. So I posted a picture of I was just sitting on my balcony and your toesies were out. My toesies were out because they looked nice and it was a sunset, and it was just a nice picture. And I posted it and literally eight different people slid in my DMs, were like feet for free on the story and I was like, come on, man, it's close, friends only no man it's close friends only.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude.
Speaker 2:You're lucky. Hey, you're welcome.
Speaker 1:You got feet. Why don't you just say thank you and move on?
Speaker 2:So many people. They're like free feet, free feet.
Speaker 1:Dude, because my foot is right there. I mean, we know it. Y'all be getting turned on by that shit, bro.
Speaker 2:Y'all like for real about it.
Speaker 1:I mean come on, yeah, come around.
Speaker 2:Is this what you want? Do you want a little foot talk? We could talk about feet. I'm okay with feet.
Speaker 1:Actually, I don't like them. I don't dislike them, I'm just like okay with feet. There's okay, feet are okay. I'm going to keep it a buck.
Speaker 2:I think we have mail Uh-uh.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Dana.
Speaker 1:Dude, dana dude. I haven't checked our socials in so long. Yeah, that's so bad. We should do that, dude. I was actually thinking that to myself last night. I was like we really could make this podcast grow, but I feel like don't get, don't get me wrong. Like yeah, we are busy with other shit, but like I def me for just speaking for myself, I definitely make excuses excuses that aren't valid at all as to why I'm not doing more for the podcast.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, we could all be putting in 100% more effort and still be fine.
Speaker 1:I need time to play video games and watch One Piece, because that's what makes me happy. But I also know if I spent time editing the podcast and putting out clips, that would also make me happy. Yeah, editing the podcast and putting out clips, that would also make me happy, yeah. So it's like I really do just make a bullshit excuses as the why I should not working on the podcast. So I definitely should just do it. Clips are me to our bread and butter, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, uh, hey, zach, before we get into some mail.
Speaker 1:uh, what are what are we drinking this week, man, oh, um, before we get into some mail, what are we drinking this week, man? Oh, it's just an assortment of seltzers Three random seltzers from Zach's fridge, some from my fridge, two different packs of Shirley. You should have told me, because then I would have just gone and brought some.
Speaker 2:Oh no, because I wanted to be fair.
Speaker 1:But also I'd rather drink something better. Yeah, that's right. Hey, I got us next week. I got us next week, Don't worry about it.
Speaker 2:Come on. Zach, I've dropped all this money on a nice bottle of rum and you give me your leftover seltzers from the Halloween party. You didn't even spend money today, that's true, and I'm honestly very happy that we're doing this, because I have that mini fridge stocked full of alcohol that I otherwise do not drink. All of these seltzers. They just sit here year round until I finally have like a function. Another party when people bring more alcohol, and then I just end up with more alcohol.
Speaker 1:You end up with the sick You're going to end up with, like a eight year old truly in your fridge at one point, because it just was forgotten about. Exactly More alcohol keeps going in and never gets taken out.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and someone's going to crack it and it's gonna like dust is gonna, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's like I don't know. I don't really drink a lot either, so I just have a massive. There you go, mass comma.
Speaker 1:I think you could. Yeah, I think you could have said a mass amount of bottles or a massive amount of bottles.
Speaker 2:You're fine either way yeah, and I wasn't sure which one, so I just, uh, I just did both there. You just put a pause in it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that was the only incorrect way of saying that was the worst. I picked the worst way yeah, you literally found out a way to make that sentence not work yeah, I thought, I thought about it and I was like I can ruin this, yeah, uh and then I just skill unintentionally ruined it you know that's a skill for sure I'm so good at it. Uh, twos, you're not, though. Yeah, he was pretty good at making things work. Shut up, yeah, you got him.
Speaker 2:Uh, yeah, I did. Uh, I didn't have time today, and also why. I mean, I guess I I could have opened a bottle of wine. If you guys want to open a bottle of wine, I can go get a bottle of wine and open it.
Speaker 1:But I already opened my seltzer but I just didn't really feel like and I haven't eaten since 11.
Speaker 2:I just didn't really feel like drinking wine. It's good you ate at 11. That's pretty good.
Speaker 1:I had steak and eggs too, from neighbors.
Speaker 2:Oh damn, that shit's so fucking good dude, and I got their cold brew their steak's pretty decent size.
Speaker 1:It's probably. No, it's not that big. It's probably eight ounces, though An eight ounce.
Speaker 2:It's okay, some steaks.
Speaker 1:It's cooked really well and they put a chimichurri right on top of it, bro. And then you get fucking. I got over easy egg sourdough toast and they do their little smashed potatoes, bro, I fucked that shit up. That shit was so good. I got a cold brew, their cold brew. There's fire man. Neighbors might be my, they didn't know, not might be, it's my favorite breakfast spot in vegas. Pretty good. Yeah, it's goaded for sure.
Speaker 2:I love it, dude, I love it there is this new breakfast spot that just opened up next to me, uh like in that little parking lot with the chipotle and the yeah, habit bar yeah they just opened a new brunch spot in there and I want to go check it out, I don't remember.
Speaker 1:there's a new brunch spot in there and I want to go check it out, I don't remember there's a new brunch spot that just opened up over on Blue Diamond, that's so right next to here. It's called Early Bird. It's supposed to be like a good brunch spot where, like, if you want to go get drinks, so like if you're doing a fucking birthday brunch or something you go there and you get some cocktails and shit. Man, dude drinking just does not sound fun to me right now. That's wild Dude. Open that shit bitch. We should do meth. Open that bitch shit. I don't want to. You don't have to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you, zach, thank you, zach, and we could start doing meth, if you were the.
Speaker 1:If drinking's not hitting the spot. You know that would be great actually. You know what?
Speaker 2:does Crystal?
Speaker 1:Crystal crystal. Yeah, come on, baby. Yeah, um, I know a girl named crystal used to hit the spot.
Speaker 2:Oh, sexually spot I don't know.
Speaker 1:I've actually never known a crystal. I don't think krista, it's pretty close to my, yeah, my wife's a fucking whore dude.
Speaker 2:Hey, you'd be nice to chris. She's a nice lady. No, she is. She's the greatest thing. You better stand up for her right now, you better be Well, then do it Stand up. You better be happy she doesn't listen to this podcast.
Speaker 1:Dude. She listened to maybe like 15 minutes of our first episode and then that's it.
Speaker 2:That's a good supportive wife right there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, she's always like no, I don't listen to it. I'm like no, the fuck, you won't just stop saying it it's like when zach says he's streaming. Yeah, it's like you're not. That was a low blow. You're not helping me out by telling me you're gonna listen to it I'm allowed to go for the low blows. I'm your mod, I don't give a shit I'm your mod.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, dude, I'll fucking. You are my mod? Am I a mod? Am I a mod?
Speaker 1:I think so. Yeah, yeah, dude, I'm about to just start shadow banning people for no reason. Oh, don't do that, so I'll be like yo Zach, it's finally good to see you back on Twitch Ban Damn.
Speaker 2:Get out of here bitch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go to a real streamer. Stream, because this guy is fucking I'll fucking stream tonight. And then we'll ban everybody.
Speaker 2:Like one and two, three, two, one, two.
Speaker 1:Okay, I read your lips. If you don't, how do you read my lips when I got a fucking mic in front of me? Because, bro.
Speaker 2:He's a liar. I read your soul. I read your soul.
Speaker 1:I don't have a soul, so you're 0 for 2 right now, god damn it, he's a ginger. Yeah, full blown. Figure it out, dude.
Speaker 2:You're biffing it. Yeah, you're biffing it.
Speaker 1:Dude just like biff from.
Speaker 2:Back to the Future From biffing it, yeah.
Speaker 1:Back to the Future, the bully.
Speaker 2:B-T-F. Yeah, yep, good. Yeah good, so are you ready for the question? Sure, here, wait, let me hit the button.
Speaker 1:Oh God Did he put the button on Keegan's button. No, he didn't. You fucking dumb bitch Mail motherfucker.
Speaker 2:What are you talking about? Dude Mail, motherfucker. Nothing gets done around here, right? Nothing gets done around here. It's partly my fault. This guy wants to become a sommelier. I'll take 33.3% of the reason shit doesn't get done more. Yeah, of course, Tee hee. This mail comes from Dana Ayo.
Speaker 1:Bing Bong the best you Got, mail listener of all time.
Speaker 2:Dude low key actually Dana our favorite viewer.
Speaker 1:She's still the GOAT.
Speaker 2:Other than who's that guy that kept asking us to fart in the mic? Preston or something? Preston? No, that was Preston. He had a really Anonymous Lizard just asked for weird shit all the time, but that's our socks, by the way.
Speaker 1:He's like put a sock in your butthole and tickle Keegan yeah. I'm like all right dude, hey, stop, stop, stop, stop, no. You're naughty, naughty okay you happy, I got tickled you fucking weirdos.
Speaker 2:All right, this mail comes from dana. Dana doesn't ask a question, but sends a meme to the you got mail uh instagram, which, by the way, if you guys have any burning questions you want to ask us, go ahead and dm us on. You got mail pod uh on instagram, or on uh tiktok, I think uh. Or on uh twitter, uh yeah, just go ahead and hit us up at the you got mail pod oh yes, daddy, oh yes, all your questions.
Speaker 2:We'll answer them and be super honest, or I'll make something up that's funny. Oh yes, yeah, I got you fam. This question comes from a post posted by I am 30 af uh follow, follow him, follow him. I'm almost there shout out 30 af like eight months spam. You got mail pod in the chat dude, just go spam. Uh, I'm gonna fuck your feet in the chat fuck your feetag fuck your feet at you.
Speaker 2:Got mail pod Yep. Yeah, let's get it trending people Hashtag. Uh, I am 30 AF, so you're being sold as an action figure. Slave trade, baby. Hmm.
Speaker 1:Sorry, we're white.
Speaker 2:Sorry, the energy seems off now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what, Zach? Can we restart this whole episode?
Speaker 2:end it end it all.
Speaker 1:Right, we're gonna push through and try to be good boys.
Speaker 2:Keegan, this is weird now you're being, we'll just, we'll do it, and we'll pretend zach, we'll edit out zach's answer for everything. Yeah, podcast yeah, I mean, he usually doesn't talk much anyways. So it's okay, we'll be okay usually zach, you'll edit yourself. This episode is called let's flame Zach.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna edit it, I will edit the podcast, but I'm not gonna edit that. I'm not gonna do extra work.
Speaker 2:So now you look dumb you're being sold as an action figure. What two accessories do you come with?
Speaker 1:oh, that's easy, let me go first. Can I go first? Can I go first? Easy, can I go first. Norm, you can go first. Yeah, a basketball and a video game controller. What controller I would go with? Like an Xbox the newest Xbox controller or an Xbox Elite controller.
Speaker 2:An Xbox Elite controller.
Speaker 1:I would say keyboard and mouse, but I feel like that's cheating, because then that's technically three accessories okay then keyboard and mouse yeah, yeah, because I I still have not used a controller on any game on pc yeah, you could also I guess say laptop, but yeah, but, but you don't use, I think I think video game controller gets across the point more yeah than a keyboard and a mouse yeah so I would say video game controller. It can can be an Xbox Elite controller and then a basketball All right, Zach, you are an action figure.
Speaker 2:What two accessories do you come with?
Speaker 1:Fucking the huge-ass hog. Yeah, he's fucking cocked. Yeah, it's a strap-on because his cock's actually tiny, oh no. No, he has interchangeable dick sizes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, no, he has interchangeable dick sizes, yeah, yeah, one for when he's soft and one for when he's hard.
Speaker 1:And it's a boy is a big yeah, it's fucking huge Zach.
Speaker 2:What are your accessories? Do you want me to go? No Good, I'm going to have a walkman. Okay, there you go, a little walkman. Okay, there you go. A little like fucking Walkman. That'd be sick.
Speaker 1:What's in the Walkman? It's an intergalactic Walkman. Oh fuck, it's one of those.
Speaker 2:Multidimensional, so you can listen to music from any galaxy anywhere.
Speaker 1:So it's like Guardians of the Galaxy, but absolutely not like that at all, because that's a real Walkman. Yeah, got it Pretty much.
Speaker 2:yeah, Wait, what were those things? Real quick, sorry to interrupt while you think of your second answer. What were those things that were like the little boom boxes that you could put a chip in and it would play one?
Speaker 1:song. Oh, I know what you're talking about. And they had, I had the NSYNC one, fuck, I don't know and I just kept it on. I know, I know it was like a toy, it was like, I think it did play full songs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you could collect a bunch of them and you bought yeah, you'd buy each song one at a time, I'll figure it out. All right, while you're figuring that out, zach, let's go back to you now, buddy.
Speaker 1:This is an efficient podcast right now.
Speaker 2:My second accessory is one of those little fake guns that shoots out the flag that says bang yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's pretty funny, I like that I look sick.
Speaker 2:But then when I shoot the gun it's just like bang, I'm silly, you are silly.
Speaker 1:You are silly.
Speaker 2:I think it's called pocket flicks.
Speaker 1:Are you sure about?
Speaker 2:that, no, no, this thing right that thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had one of those Hit Clips.
Speaker 2:Hit Clips. Hit Clips. I was close with the flicks part, didn't make sense, but they paved the way.
Speaker 1:That's what the caption says.
Speaker 2:Hit Clips, man, those things were awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those things were cool. Yeah, I liked it because it had the album art on it, even though there was only like one song. Yeah, my answer. If I were an action figure, the two accessories that I would come with.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that, yeah, it's got a little boom box version. Yep, that's the one I had, except mine was gray. Yeah, I think I want to, I would come with a semen um yep actual come I would come with come you would open the box and it would just be everywhere it'd be so it would, and it.
Speaker 1:And it would be just so much, keep moisture out with the silica gel That'll find a way to keep moisture in.
Speaker 2:You know how you like. Buy those little eggs of silly putty. Yeah, it would come with four of those filled with my cum. Oh, fuck, no, it would come with a cocktail shaker. It would be like two Boston Shakers. Does that count as one accessory? We're going to allow it Two Boston Shakers are one accessory.
Speaker 1:Because it's just one Boston Shaker twice.
Speaker 2:And then it would include a smaller version of the action figure of myself. So the second accessory would be another action figure.
Speaker 1:That's a good deal.
Speaker 2:That is also me, but tiny and you can.
Speaker 1:You are you like your own jiminy cricket?
Speaker 2:I'm like one of those yeah, I'm like one of those really cool, uh, marvel action figures where you can bend all the fingers and all the joints and all that.
Speaker 1:So you can make me play with the smaller version of myself so if you own this action figure, you could play with a smaller version of yourself. Playing with a smaller version of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the smaller version also comes with one more smaller version, but then it stops there. It doesn't keep. So there's full. There's three action figures in the box. Yeah, I mean, the Second two are pretty small so.
Speaker 1:I, so they're attached to each other already. Yeah, Yep so like he's already, like he's already holding the other action figure. It's pretty dope. That's actually pretty fire.
Speaker 2:But each one does have independent movable limbs. Yeah, even the little ones.
Speaker 1:Dude the event. You've seen the Venom toys I have? Right, those things are crazy Like you can move every single part of them. You can even move his chest, like his Dude. Yeah, you can move all of it. It's fucking insane. Can you jack him off? I mean he doesn't have a cock, it's just flat there. Speaking of Venom, you guys see the trailer.
Speaker 2:Nope, I saw you Zubat.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And the Kaboobop. Yeah, I saw the beginning of the trailer and then I skipped it. Okay, because I usually don't like watching trailers. I like watching trailers, I like a spoiler free experience, okay, anywho, thank you, dana. That was a great uh question and uh, but now we're gonna move on to this trailer.
Speaker 1:Go ahead. Oh no, well, you said you don't want to oh, it's cool, you could tell me about it I mean, dude, I'll just tell you about the coolest part yeah, fucking venom, uh fucking binds to a horse and the horse goes fucking crazy crazy it's tight dude. It's so cool it's.
Speaker 2:It was like meant to be funny, uh, and it was so yeah um, man, we have another question, and it was a guy who messaged us about the limbs thing. I don't, do you remember the question about limbs? Is it like if we could take our limbs off or some shit? No, what would we do? I'd smack arm, I'd smack norm with zach's hand.
Speaker 1:I forgot what it was.
Speaker 2:Let's get to the meat and potatoes here. This guy's asking you for porn, right?
Speaker 1:I fuck with that guy's avatar though, because it's South Park.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we fuck with your avatar, you probably are asking for porn right?
Speaker 1:No, he asked us a question about like if yeah, but I think it was for him to jack off with. Yeah, we didn't name this guy, did we no.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to message him back live on the pod and say we fuck with your avatar, but we are currently talking about the limbs thing. Live on the pod.
Speaker 1:Sort of Not really because we forgot, yeah, we forgot, it was a while ago. I would put Zach's arm where my leg is All right. I don't know which leg my left one, my left one, my left one.
Speaker 2:Your arm where his leg is, imagine not having a dick.
Speaker 1:Your left arm where his right leg is Imagine not having a dick and just having an actual arm where your cock is, I would grab so many things, yeah, but you still don't have a cock. Fuck, yeah, wouldn't that suck. Can fuck, yeah, wouldn't that suck. Can you come out of the hand?
Speaker 2:no, yeah, because if your hand's just a hand, if I had a third arm you wouldn't even know, because it would just always be in my pants, jerking off no, because you don't have a cock right, but in this case I don't have.
Speaker 1:I'm saying in another situation but you do have a bow. Still, I don't want to finger my asshole. Maybe, maybe not now maybe not at first okay, but when you're like well, what am I gonna do with my third hand, dude? No, because then you pull your third hand out to use it and it just smells like poop well, you wash it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. What if you uh? Yeah, what if you need to grab something?
Speaker 1:yeah, what if, like you're like, oh fuck wait a minute.
Speaker 2:And now I got another one that says I'm the one who messaged about the detachable body parts. Idea how many of of you? Oh, it's the same guy, but from two different accounts.
Speaker 1:I'm the one who messaged Well, this guy is determined. Yeah, he is like I need to jack off to this shit, Dude.
Speaker 2:I just want a few minutes of you guys discussing it and pretending you guys do. I know it's weird. It is weird and we are discussing it right now. I'm saying I would have my third, I'd take a third arm and I'd put it down my sleeve and you would never know I have it Cause I'd always be touching myself. And if the limb was?
Speaker 1:on my penis. No, that's capped though, because you're not. I'm not jerking it at work, not all the time. Yeah, don't get me wrong, there would be sometimes. I'd probably be grabbing my balls a bunch Cause you could do it in public now if you really wanted to like.
Speaker 2:Just yeah, just wear a big jacket, put one hand down but then everyone's gonna be like he doesn't have his other hand.
Speaker 1:It's got to be in his pants jerking no, because it's just like tuck the sleeve in your pocket and then fucking jack.
Speaker 2:Like if you really wanted to jack off in public, you'd already be doing right, or I could do like a, like a mannequin arm, and nobody's really gonna question. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everyone's just gonna be like, well, that guy's fucking weird, and then they're just gonna keep moving.
Speaker 2:Hey, is that guy masturbating? Uh, they're just gonna be like who cares?
Speaker 1:I got other shit to worry about yeah everyone is more concerned with themselves than what you're doing, so I don't know. There's some people with nothing better to do, for sure very true, but like and those people are gonna fucking die soon probably so yeah, dude, if you guys are any who back to this detachable?
Speaker 2:he really wants us to milk this question, um, and we gotta pretend like we have them.
Speaker 1:So that was me he wants a private video removing my leg and that.
Speaker 2:Oh, I got norm's leg now and look, this truly is now now there he said he wants a private video from keegan to get back to the meat and potatoes no he said it's from all of us. By the way, it's the. You got mail pod. It didn't say from Keegan.
Speaker 1:He said I want all you guys to pretend like you have a fucking large cock and fuck each other.
Speaker 2:I slam my penis in the car door. So this is a very cock heavy episode and I'm okay with it. Big dicks.
Speaker 1:don't miss brother, everyone loves a big dick. You love talking about it, you love being about it, you being about it, you love fucking. If you're a girl or a gay dude, probably gay dudes like big dicks.
Speaker 2:happy pride month do they like dead ass?
Speaker 1:I don't know, or do they prefer a more adequate dick to fit in their butthole?
Speaker 2:you know what um?
Speaker 1:I don't because I feel like a very large dick would just hurt, so bad. But like the right size dick would just feel you'd be like this feels so good well, if you think about it sometimes when you watch uh pornography and uh I don't watch gay porn no, no, you watch a woman though correct and sometimes maybe I should start watching gay porn sometimes they do those for journalism experience those big tentacleildos and they put those in their ass.
Speaker 2:Dude, those shits are fucking big, so I don't think anybody likes it.
Speaker 1:They're so girthy.
Speaker 2:But I think sometimes I don't know the girls I watch do it like it. Maybe some gay dudes are just so dead inside that they just need that massive dong in their bum. I guess need that massive dong in their bum.
Speaker 1:I guess pride month, by the way. I guess it's all personal preference. Seriously, zach, you burned it. I haven't done anything and I'm not gay. Respectfully did you? Uh, says the edm dj somalia.
Speaker 2:Fucking thing, right, fucking faggot oh shit, added that out when was the last time?
Speaker 1:you got? Yeah, yeah, dude, it's Pride Month. You can't say that, my bad.
Speaker 2:That is staying in.
Speaker 1:Have you seen the?
Speaker 2:pop star with Andy Samberg.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:They do a song where he's talking about gay rights the whole time and every other verse he's just like I'm not gay, I'm totally straight. He's like if I'm not gay, but if I was, I think everybody should have rights. I'm not gay. And then he just keeps going and going. Uh, that's what this reminds me of. Is you tell me, you're not gay?
Speaker 1:hey guys, what's the hardest part about uh rollerblading? My penis no telling your parents you're gay nice little fruit that's one of my favorite jokes, you know you know we used to.
Speaker 2:We used to call rollerbladers at the skate park fruit booters.
Speaker 1:I like that. Fruit booters is pretty good. I like that. That's pretty good. Classic, that's good.
Speaker 2:Communism. It's not the worst. I feel like it gets a bad rap.
Speaker 1:We're supposed to be like anarchists at heart. You know what I'm saying. I am for the government. Well, feel like it gets a bad rap. We're supposed to be anarchists at heart. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:I am for the government.
Speaker 1:Well, no, if anarchy worked, that would be the best.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you wouldn't need a government.
Speaker 1:Everyone would just do what they need to do and you'd get by. But motherfuckers don't want to be doing that shit.
Speaker 2:I feel like socialism also, a very effective method where everybody pulls their own weight and we all work together as a society and we can all afford to live lives. But here's the hard part, gentlemen, right.
Speaker 1:No matter, no matter.
Speaker 2:People are dumb as fuck. No matter which dystopian world that you're trying to live in, where there's no sort of government whatsoever. Yeah, we all have to realize that there's going to be some sort of hierarchy and there's going to be some sort of pecking order, one way or another, because it's just the way that everybody's designed. It's the way nature is designed, so even in Furiosa.
Speaker 1:There's a scene where this, this group of strong people pulled up on another group of strong people. They're like we're going to fucking dethrone you.
Speaker 2:And the guy was like. He was like.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you want to fucking bet? Watch this. He's like A number 272, do your thing. And he literally just sprays some shit in his mouth and he goes for the Citadel and he just fucking kills himself on the spot. For the gang, dude, yeah he takes an explosive speed.
Speaker 2:He's like I.
Speaker 1:He's like I got like 400 other motherfuckers that are willing to do that shit. So good luck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for real, and that was the pecking order.
Speaker 1:They were just like, yeah, we'll die for this guy. Even though there was no government they were like we'll die for this guy.
Speaker 2:But the best part about the movie Furiosa was the fat bald guy playing with his nipple the whole time. Yeah, I really like the robot dog.
Speaker 1:Fat bald guy playing with his nipple. Yeah, I really like the robot dog, that bald guy playing with his nipples.
Speaker 2:Yeah, from the Citadel. He was just up there and he was wearing a suit the whole time. I don't know if you noticed, but he had holes cut.
Speaker 1:He was wearing a suit. Oh, the dude with the brown nose Is that who you're talking about? He had the thing on his nose.
Speaker 2:He had a nose ring chain that connected from his nose to his nipples and he was wearing a full tux and he was bald.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know who you're talking about. The nose thing I thought connected to his head, I thought it went around like this.
Speaker 2:I think it went around his ear and down to his nipple because he had holes cut out Because I know the dude.
Speaker 1:Well, that's just not practical. He had that piece over his nose, it was. Is that?
Speaker 2:the same guy it was.
Speaker 1:It's the same guy and he just you. It was. It's the same guy. It was. It's the same guy. He's wearing full tux and he's bald and he's a little fat yeah, and he's just sitting there playing with his nipples oh no, well, oh yeah, but that's a different guy from the dude. Oh yeah, and then Chris Hemsworth gets his nipples yanked out of his fucking body oh, yeah, yeah that movie was cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really liked the robot dog, Not as good as Mad Max but there was no robot dog what?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you didn't watch the movie.
Speaker 2:Oh, you didn't watch Furiosa no.
Speaker 1:I watched it. No, you're thinking of fighting Dude. It's okay to not watch the movie. You didn't watch Mad Max either. I really liked the robot dog.
Speaker 2:And that's what I have to say about that movie.
Speaker 1:Although I Deadpool and Wolverine tonight, I'll let you know I did watch Furiosa.
Speaker 2:Did you like the guy who played him with his nipples?
Speaker 1:No, you didn't. I loved him. You did not watch the movie. Why are you lying?
Speaker 2:He was my second favorite character, behind. Who Behind the robot dog? You just probably missed it.
Speaker 1:He was a background character. Yeah, he wasn't extra much.
Speaker 2:Or he was in it so little. I think it was the director's cut.
Speaker 1:How do you guys feel about Anya Taylor-Joy? She can have it. I don't think she's cute.
Speaker 2:I know who that is and I really think that she's cool.
Speaker 1:I think she's a good actress. I don't think she's cute, though.
Speaker 2:She looks like a bird. Her eyes are so far apart.
Speaker 1:Maybe her face is too small.
Speaker 2:The lizard in Rango. It's something weird she looks fucking weird, dude.
Speaker 1:There's just something about her. I'm like you look weird.
Speaker 2:She just looks weird. I've never seen that woman before in my life. You watched Furiosa, right? Yes, I did it, she got her. You watched Furiosa, right? Yes, I did.
Speaker 1:And yeah, it's all coming back to me, it was the makeup, the special effects, queen's Gambit is when I first was like, okay, this girl is important, you know. Or like she's an actress. Hey, your wife is calling you, is she really?
Speaker 2:What's she calling you?
Speaker 1:Should I answer it live on the podcast? Sure, I mean, I can.
Speaker 2:I'll keep that conversation private, though, hello.
Speaker 1:Hi, hey, what's up? Are you still recording the podcast? Yeah, I am Okay. Oh, are you in the middle of it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're on the podcast oh, chris, just say the N-word, okay wait.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, you're black, you can say it. Okay, wait, I'll call you when we're done. Uh, we're probably gonna go eat somewhere, if you would like to come and like hang out.
Speaker 2:Okay, just call me when you're done. Okay, all right, love you.
Speaker 1:She put on her cute voice for the podcast. That's not how she, that's not how she actually fucking talks, so oh, anya taylor joy was in the menu.
Speaker 2:I guess I didn't realize that was. I didn't watch that movie?
Speaker 1:yeah, I watched it, did you? But I knew I watched queen's gambit and that's when I was like, okay, so this girl might be in things. And then I know she was in things before, but that's the first time I realized she was important I think you would like the menu yeah, it's about eating people. He like eats people. Yeah, did he eats people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I liked that part too. No, they never ate a person.
Speaker 1:I thought he killed the greedy people that cook them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that guy wanted to, though Nobody wanted to.
Speaker 1:He did. He was just blackmailing everyone. Yeah yeah, there was a bunch of shit happening. He was like I know you all fucked up so I'm going to kill you and cook you, but then he didn't cook him, and he was right.
Speaker 2:I thought he was going to cook him. No, he didn't cook him, he wanted to. Oh, I guess he did.
Speaker 1:I thought that was the whole point of the movie was like he put a little piece of someone in every dish.
Speaker 2:No, that would have been so much cooler though, right, I agree. Yeah, no.
Speaker 1:I really wanted him to Fuck you. Now you're going to die. And now I'm going to serve something or yeah, or I'm going to, I'm going to kill you, I'm going to put you in my next dish for the next guy I'm going to kill, yeah, and so he's eating the last guy. That would have been cool. That's a new movie. Fuck yeah, hey, shut up, shut up, all no, but I think I saw that movie that you guys are talking about dude dash shut up.
Speaker 2:Shut up the bit's over, leave the bit uh no, but there is a scene at the end of the movie that's why I respect where he gets all the rich people and he goes all right time for the final course. It's s'mores, and then he lights the building on fire and everybody burns alive in the building including him I loved that part because he's like you guys are all pieces of shit, and me too.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's kind of cool, though I kind of like that ending.
Speaker 2:And he lets Anya Taylor Joy go because she wasn't supposed to be there.
Speaker 1:Oh, she's just like someone's plus one or some shit, right.
Speaker 2:Which wasn't allowed because the whole thing was like premeditated for like yeah, like he only sent out invites to the bad people he wanted there. Exactly that was a moving part of that and he had blackmail for everybody. And anya taylor joy was like a prostitute that was paid to by somebody to be the plus one. So when she showed up he's just like, hey, who the fuck are you? But isn't prostitution illegal? So she's a no it depends.
Speaker 1:it depends on where you're prostituting. Non-prostot, it's true. Was it illegal there? It was not in Perot. It was not in Perot and I don't think she was like Prostitution is illegal, not in Amsterdam.
Speaker 2:But she was like an escort.
Speaker 1:So she was just like a hired date Illegal and I think that's okay. That's as illegal as it gets. What does that?
Speaker 2:even fucking mean. That's the same as murder well, it depends on what Zach views as illegal. What else is illegal?
Speaker 1:what else is on the floor of prostitution to you?
Speaker 2:I think that whatever you guys think is illegal, I think is illegal too. Tax evasion. What do you? What do you think? Yeah, that's illegal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think so too I think tax evasion is illegal, but at the same time like do it, dude, it's so you know? Like fuck the government, don't pay them. Isn't that what trump just got?
Speaker 2:super in trouble for or something he got. No, he got like some sexual shit too sorry boring. Moving on, it might been that.
Speaker 1:But it was also like he like basically date, raped a porn star or some shit, that's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, he paid her off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what people have a problem with. Well, he date, raped her and then paid her off.
Speaker 2:Well, dude, she got some money to chill out, bro. Well, obviously you didn't pay her enough, because that bitch is still talking.
Speaker 1:No, she got raped at school. No, she got raped at school. How much money did she get, though? A lot, I don't know Enough Enough for her to not talk about her getting raped. Not enough for her to keep not talking about her not getting raped, though, so yeah, trump 2024, I guess Vote for the rapists. Rfk, bro, rfk, yeah, dude, fucking crazy. Here's the thing.
Speaker 2:Robert F Kennedy Jr fucking crazy robert f kennedy jr. Vote him. I'm gonna vote for him yeah I asked.
Speaker 1:I was talking to one of our co-workers and good friend, ramon, and I was like so can he still run? And he's like yeah, he can still run as long as he's not actively in prison. And I was like that's fucking crazy. That's crazy. You're literally guilty on 34 counts of a federal crime and you're like I'm still gonna do it usa, dude, and people are like yeah, he's still gonna do it. I'm like, bro, this is crazy which even crazier is like.
Speaker 2:Even if it came down to it and it was only trump v biden, I would. I would still root for trump over biden. Probably I would wish death upon both of them upon.
Speaker 1:I just want the American political system to restart. Dissolve yeah, let's do it again.
Speaker 2:We need a good, old-fashioned uprising.
Speaker 1:We should clean the swamp. I don't want to sound like a. Have you guys heard that before we?
Speaker 2:should get torches and pitchforks and storm the Capitol.
Speaker 1:What's the generation under us? Can we?
Speaker 2:post this. That'll be an embarrassing way to do that?
Speaker 1:What are they called the Generation Under Us? We're millennials there, all of them.
Speaker 2:Got them? No, we're not millennials.
Speaker 1:I think I am. So Gen Z is the new one. Gen Z is the new one, so you're Gen Z, yes.
Speaker 2:The cutoff is like 97. It's my year.
Speaker 1:So then you're Gen Z. I'm either Gen Z or a millennial.
Speaker 2:I'm like a zillennial.
Speaker 1:You guys are babies.
Speaker 2:A little baby I'm kind of with that.
Speaker 1:I think we just need younger people in the office. Both these guys are going to die in fucking six to eight years anyways.
Speaker 2:They're both old as fuck. Whoever won this election is the oldest president.
Speaker 1:Minimum age is like 40, right for president, is that it? Yep, it's 40? It might be 35, but yeah, 40. It's something like that. So get like a 50-year-old in there. These guys are like 85. What are we doing? I think Biden's older than that, yeah, but even like if 85 is the youngest, what are we doing?
Speaker 2:What are we doing? What are we doing Getting a 50-year-old? He's 81. Getting a 50-year-old, you can't trust that?
Speaker 1:How old is Trump?
Speaker 2:He's like 70-something, 78 or something.
Speaker 1:They're both old as fuck. Dude Getting a young dude Getting some young dude, I don't even care if he's 77. Yeah, they're all going to be shitheads no matter what. But I mean, you're really going to vote for a fucking rapist.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. I'm not going to vote for either of them. I'm voting for RFK.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I take back everything I said about any politics. Don't listen to me. I don't know anything actually.
Speaker 2:Vote for Robert F Kennedy Jr. I'm good. I know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:We, like I said we should just storm the Capitol, we should just fucking start a political podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll call it Politits, you got.
Speaker 1:Politics, politits Okay. Politits, and we'll just have a bunch of big titties on the mic. We'll just talk about big titties and we'll only interview girls with big boobies, big big ass titties some of the best in the business right now. Uh, is she still in the business? Yeah, what the fuck?
Speaker 2:yeah, you know look, come on, bro, come on. Who was the last time she posted a porn star?
Speaker 1:zachary, you don't know violet myers is no, oh, bro, you're gonna have fun tonight. No, I'm not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you are no, I'm gonna, because I'm gonna stream live on the after you stream, you're gonna google violet myers and you'll have a blast. No, sir, yeah you will she reminds me of oh man, she looks worse she kind of looks beat.
Speaker 1:Nah, she's the. I was so fucking aren't most porn stars?
Speaker 2:yeah, lmao, lulu.
Speaker 1:Chu's a good one, but she doesn't have big titties.
Speaker 2:We're talking big titties she was born a month after my birthday.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's Destiny, you should fuck her, it's.
Speaker 2:Destiny. Yeah, I'm older than this.
Speaker 1:No, destiny's a different porn star. This is Violet. Come on, zach, get with it.
Speaker 2:No, destiny video game.
Speaker 1:I don't know what it's about unless you guys know, destiny is about halo.
Speaker 2:no, oh yeah, I know what that is, I mean it's made by the people who made halo, but really the original halo, yes, or bungee, yeah three four, three makes a new one, hello yeah, and it's uh, it's like a shooter, but a looter shooter. So you go through the same map a hundred million times and get different loot, and then that's it yeah, that's the only thing.
Speaker 1:It's like a repetitive ass fucking game. Yeah, when I got it, when it was like on the ps4 because it yeah that's the only thing.
Speaker 2:It's like a repetitive ass fucking game. Yeah, when I got it, when it was like on the ps4 because it was like one the only game on the ps4 is like that and bloodborne were the first two games I like released with the console and that was the only time I played it and it was mids, and then they kept releasing dlc and each dlc was 40 dollars and I was like you guys can yeah, that shit crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they wanted you to pay like $280 for a video game.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's just fine.
Speaker 1:Oh brother, this guy stinks but people still play to this day. It still has a pretty big fan base.
Speaker 2:Now the game is free, though.
Speaker 1:It's old though.
Speaker 2:You can download Destiny or Destiny 2 for free, but still all the DLC is $40.
Speaker 1:My biggest thing with Destiny 2 was one you had to grind like crazy to get the good guns. And then you had to do that though, because the PvP system it still used the same guns you used in PvE and they were scaled that way, yeah, so if you wanted a good gun, you had to go grind for fucking like 30 hours to get a good gun so you could go play multiplayer. Yeah, I'm like this sucks. You want to help me because I just, if I want to go play multiplayer, let me just go play it should be like different servers and, if I want to grind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let me go grind. But it was like the same shit where it's like you better give yourself a good gun or else you're going to have a terrible multiplayer experience.
Speaker 2:I have been having a generally good time on X-Defiant though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, x-defiant's fun dude.
Speaker 2:Generally good time.
Speaker 1:Are you General?
Speaker 2:Lee, good time. No, keegan is. Oh, that's why I saluted him.
Speaker 1:Then why did you call him Keegan and not General Lee.
Speaker 2:He did he saluted me.
Speaker 1:I didn't call him anything, you just said no, keegan is.
Speaker 2:Keegan's my old name, keegan's his code name. Code name Leoko.
Speaker 1:Code name kids next door. Code name. Code name's the board game. Wow, I'm on fire right now.
Speaker 2:Okay, fine Code name, I thought.
Speaker 1:I could come up with one by now, but I didn't.
Speaker 2:I didn't. Codename Keeksicle Fuck Even Zach had one, that guy sucks. I had that in my pocket.
Speaker 1:Let me see your pockets. Empty your pockets. Oh, those are cool pants.
Speaker 2:Thank you, they're Lulu's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for they're lulu yeah for a piece of shit. Lulu chews speaking of porn stars, no big titties, but damn, can she fuck a dick? Let me tell you, guys, my god boy, can she have sex? With a man, she can have sex premarital too probably probably most of them.
Speaker 2:There might be a couple where she has a husband and they are having sex, but I'm gonna assume most of them.
Speaker 1:There's one she put out recently where it's her and another Asian girl, and they take this white guy at a strip club to the back room and they fuck the shit out of him. That one's really good.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna pretend like you're the white guy, like I don't know that video.
Speaker 1:Oh, you do though no, I've never seen it.
Speaker 2:Fuck yeah, this, that shit fire dude just talking about it zach, go ahead and put in that clip of us doing a foot five again. Just replay it for the listeners.
Speaker 1:No, that was good damn, daniel, back at it again in the white vans got it again.
Speaker 2:So hey, zach, you're uh somewhere it's the vines.
Speaker 1:Pretty cool um oh yeah, we talked about that for five seconds uh don't talk about the wine stuff, it's more interesting, it really is um, I don't think we've talked about it at all.
Speaker 2:That's fine, we're not gonna talk about it much, because I really don't give a shit, but um.
Speaker 1:I care, do you get a pay raise?
Speaker 2:I'm acting like I don't care because it makes my character cooler. Uh, do you get a pay raise?
Speaker 1:probably not, no, I did this, but you're gonna be the same same technically training as your psalm, right?
Speaker 2:he's only a level one as well, correct? No, he's level two, level level one. Yeah, you're not even a sommelier oh, they don't know.
Speaker 1:No, they just call you. What are you?
Speaker 2:level one level one is your introductory sommelier test that you have to take in order in order to take level two oh, and level two is when you become a certified sommelier. If anybody ever flexes that, they're a level one sommelier.
Speaker 1:That's really not that fucking crazy dude, I know someone who does that. Yeah, I know a couple people who do that.
Speaker 2:I'm speaking for all us level ones out there. If you're level one, please you don't need to flex that. It's not that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not impressed.
Speaker 2:Anybody who knows anything about being a sommelier understands that level two is actually when you become certified sommelier, understands that level two is actually when you become certified sommelier. And that's when, like, it gets crazy, because they ask you basically to like hone in on all these crazy, different like little details. They're like, hey, can you name every uh single grand crew vineyard in the area chablis?
Speaker 1:yeah, and they just like want you to know that and I can do it with a bandana on, and then they're like, and then they'll do the same thing for, like you know, hey, can you name all of the Grand Cru Class A's in Bordeaux? Which is five. And super nice. So is it mainly just French that they ask you about, or is it French and Italy and Spain and America, everything?
Speaker 2:All over the world.
Speaker 1:So will they be like. Hey, what are all the vineyards of Pinot Noir in Willamette Valley, Oregon, Will?
Speaker 2:they do that. No, because that's too broad. There's too many of those that exist.
Speaker 1:So what would be the classification? To narrow that down, is there a way?
Speaker 2:They would probably in that situation just because America doesn't have any level.
Speaker 1:Stricter laws. They don't have any level. Stricter laws, they don't have any level like america doesn't have. It's just like you're if you make wine, you're a vineyard.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly, there's no like, there's no docg of yeah, now they now they could say in some place that has a classification system that defines quality, they could.
Speaker 1:They could be like give me all the vineyards of like docg chianti classico in this region of italy, and you have to know that shit. Yes, that's crazy, are you?
Speaker 2:interested in becoming a level two, aka a real psalm, because I immediately have lost all respect for everything you did today, and that's okay.
Speaker 1:But I still know more about wine than you and now I've lost all respect for you today, dude, we should go to that wino place that's at, uh, um, uncomment actually funny enough. One of the psalms there um comes into our restaurant all the time it's always like hey, like, if you guys ever want to come in like like I can do it all the time, really close, I'll go get a glass I believe.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, there, I believe. So she is a level two. Um, I respect her.
Speaker 1:I still need to go to that wine shop that's downtown that campos goes to. Yeah, it's near esters, well old esters that, um, that one shop is supposed to be.
Speaker 2:Dope campos always talks so level two is really where it becomes a real deal, because you have to do a service examination where you sit in front of a master sommelier and they act as if they're a guest in the restaurant and they just are there like 200, 280 in the entire world.
Speaker 2:Um, so that's when you like sit in front of a master sommelier and they basically just sit there and like quiz you, they critique your service and the way that you handle it. Um, and they basically like mock a service, like to like they'll do little things, to try and like fuck you up and like throw you off your game and shit to see if you really know what you're doing, because it requires a little bit of like knowledge, actually like being comfortable in a service setting. So it means you need to have like worked in a restaurant and like sort of done those things. Now it's not like an official requirement, but you're gonna have a harder time sort of passing those things if you don't have like actual practice doing them. You know, and so uh, do you take that test somewhere else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's like when you do your certified. That's like I like a three-day exam where, basically, where was your test?
Speaker 1:It wasn't in Vegas, right, it was in Bellagio. Oh it was. Yeah, it was in Bellagio.
Speaker 2:I thought you had to go to Arizona or some shit for that no that was initially our first plan, but they added dates for Vegas, and so we switched to doing the Vegas one because we were like that's much more convenient and we don't have to drive out to Arizona to do so.
Speaker 1:Although I drove out to Arizona last week and I was sick, you guys could have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but yeah. So level two, that's really like the real deal. If somebody's a certified sommelier then that means business, because they ask you all sorts of crazy questions, like on sake, on beer oh shit, okay, so I was gonna.
Speaker 1:That's what I was gonna ask, because I looked it up.
Speaker 2:What I was looking up was like there's a sake, like sommelier thing, and there is so I assume they didn't include sake with wine, even though it is technically well they, they actually they asked us two questions on our intro test today on like what like on sake okay, so because yeah, sake is technically wine one was like what is the name of the mold that helps um?
Speaker 1:like start the fermentation.
Speaker 2:It's curry con kuji kai, kuji kai and that's the name of the mold that they introduce to the rice that has been polished down to just have its starchiness, um, and that mold converts the starch into sugar, which then creates, you know, like, like they add in yeast and that creates its own, like whole fermentation. And maybe I'm not even a hundred, 100 like true on that, just because I don't really know much about sake. I just know what they talked about in the lecture and I think sake is like really slept on as a spirit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's really cool actually yeah, there's a lot of cool stuff you can do with sake and the way it's made is cool and the taste profiles like, and the fact that you can either filter or unfilter and that gives it a different texture and taste. I think sake is really underrated. Yeah, it's very.
Speaker 2:They asked us what the name for unpasteurized sake was, which is milk, which is nami's milk. Namazake, bless you namazake, but um, yeah, so level one. I didn't know all that level one is definitely a certification that, like tells you you know more than the average person knows about wine, because that means you've studied all of the broad, big, like great uh, varietals of all these different regions you know like a little bit about, like all of these places and you know, do you feel like you over studied for this test?
Speaker 2:no I feel like I've studied properly. When I, when I left the testing center today, I um like when I stepped out after I like finished my test, I reviewed it once to just to double check that I had the correct answers that I wanted to put down. But when I left out of like the classroom and was awaiting my results, I was like a hundred percent sure that I passed, because I was like you have to get 42 out of 70 questions Right and I was like, at maximum, I was not a hundred percent sure of like 10 of the answers.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So like in my mind I was like I definitely fucking passed for sure, but there were about 10 questions, but did I get? 100%? Yeah, exactly, Probably not, but you still got an A. And actually one question I was pissed about because I fucking knew the answer to it, but when I went back through it I was like damn, is it Germany? Though?
Speaker 1:That's the correct answer to that. Oh, never question yourself. And.
Speaker 2:I erased it, I wrote down Germany. I looked it up and I was like I had the right fucking answer. I should have just fucking left it at that. Yep, damn it Every time. That's how it goes. That's like test test taking. Rule number one don't doubt yourself and don't go back and change your answers unless you're like a hundred percent sure. It's been a while since I've fucking taken a test, bro. My fucking hands were sweating and shit.
Speaker 2:I was like I wasn't nervous, but then all of a sudden I was holding a pencil but then, all of a sudden, I started taking the test and I was like my hands started sweating and I was like god damn, I was rubbing them on my pants like chill out dude chill out bro chill out I love taking tests.
Speaker 2:I was so good at taking tests in school I was good, good at it too I'm really good at tests. I'm bad at the cops at the rest of it, yeah, yeah. So level two is the real deal, and, uh, that's also when you do your blind tasting as well. They do like that's another part that you have to pass.
Speaker 1:Basically, they we got him. We got him. I was like this may or may not work. I was like we're gonna find out. I saw him move it one time with his right hand. We're gonna see if it works. Now keegan has to chug his dude. You don't have to. You don't have to, you don't have to. I do it's on the podcast, though, so like you will look like a bitch, but like you really don't have to, because I know you don't want to drink. Thanks, yeah. Oh shit, dude, he's going to fucking do it. So, yeah, you could if you wanted to. That would be easier, but it would hurt more. You can just drink it fast. You don't have to slam it. You have to slam it. Yeah, dude, dude, I taught another person. We know the game, but I'm not going to tell you who it is, so they can get you.
Speaker 2:That's the only way to keep this game interesting at this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so there's new players. Just know that. Yeah, you guys can't play the game because we can't get a confirm on whether or not you wanna it's cool, you wanna play or not, so we're not gonna tell the rules on, unless dan already did when we started a long time ago. Did you talk to us about it on the podcast, or was this off?
Speaker 1:I don't really a long time ago. This, this is probably like three years ago. We've only been doing the pod for two, so then it was at least. It was probably around a year and a half ago then.
Speaker 2:This is episode 129? Yeah, so oh, I guess it shit, almost three.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, so it's got to be. It was probably like two years ago, though, that he taught us the game.
Speaker 2:We're like two and a half years in, so he taught us the game. We're like two and a half years in.
Speaker 1:So, dude, my homie Ryan put in fucking. He yelled Buffalo at the end of his fucking wedding speech. I also did that. Yeah, you did, I did, but it was his wedding. I was like, dude, what are you doing? You're getting yourself? Well, he got me, motherfucker. I was like fuck you, dude. Yeah, I did not expect it, because I was like it's your wedding, you're not going to do that shit. Yeah, if you're the best man at a wedding, that's totally acceptable.
Speaker 2:I'll be honest, that's not where you do it. I was a little hungover coming into this, but all those bubbles in my tum, a little bit of vodka.
Speaker 1:Pretty good man. That was pretty good that was pretty solid.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you one thing when I make my wedding speech, I'm definitely going to do it, so just don't hold your drink in your dominant hand. Why would you tell?
Speaker 1:us. Why would you ruin the facade?
Speaker 2:Because I'm going to get you so drunk you forget that's not true.
Speaker 1:That was part of my speech.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be sober by the time, I'm not even going to go. I won't if it's at EDC. Don't do that. Thank fucking God At the end of Norm's speech.
Speaker 1:I'm going to give a speech, whether you like it or not, at your wedding.
Speaker 2:I said everybody raise your drink with your dominant drinking hand. I gave everyone a little heads up that I was about to do it. Everybody was playing Buffalo. Thankfully, I didn't have a drink at that time, so I just pulled up my water glass.
Speaker 1:I wish I did have a drink at that time. I think I did, I don't remember I wasn't fucked up by then.
Speaker 2:I'll be honest, I don't know if I got anybody, because I was hammered.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that was good, you probably got someone.
Speaker 2:I watch people raise their drinks. You probably got some and I got a couple oohs out in the audience. I was like, yeah, somebody's going to have to drink right now. Hell yeah, brother, it was me, I just chugged a seltzy, yeah it is Fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:And now I feel like I don't know I feel a little warm and fuzzy Hitting a woman. That's fine, Dude. I gotta piss. How much time we got left.
Speaker 2:We're good. Are we good yeah?
Speaker 1:Where are we?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, we're hella good. Dude, Dude, I have to pee dude. All right. Well, Norm's gonna go take a piss, I'm gonna tinkle, and then we're gonna go eat and Keegan's gonna to come because he wants to celebrate me, not Zach?
Speaker 1:Hey, I think I saw that movie. Yeah, that was a good one. Outro Music.